There was a box at the front door. Well, it was more of a coffin. That in its own right wasn’t alarming. Owner often got a lot of weird things mailed here under my wallet name, and my wife did the same.

What was alarming was all in yellow on black. A sticker with a triangle, an exclamation point at the center and in blocky letters.

BE AWARE

I turned to glance up the stairway. “Hey babe, did you expect any dignitaries traveling in a unique manner?”

Verity shouted down at me. “No. Why?”

“There’s a coffin here addressed to me.” I kicked it softly, and something jostled inside. Instinctively I leapt back and started scanning it. Fucker was lead lined and spectrum jammed.

.:There’s a what?:. Δ342 responded over our private connection.

.:A coffin with no return address, addressed to me:.

.:That’s odd 432. Do you need me near?:.

.:Verity’s here, but I wouldn’t say no to more eyes:. It pumped its sight into my mind as it took position at the top of the stair with a stun gun ready.

.:Got you covered.:.

.:Thanks:. I exhaled and spoke. “Alright, I’m going to open it, ready?” Verity nodded and I saw Δ342 crosshairs scan the box. The lid came off easy. But we weren’t ready for five water balloons full a red warm liquid hitting us. Verity screamed and staggered back. Δ342 fell to its butt with a startled squeak. Meanwhile I stared dumbfounded only able to see a brown tabby catdoll laughing hysterically as she made her escape.

It took us to time to get our senses back. It was then I noticed a note at the bottom of the coffin.

Should have been aware
<3 Emi

“Mother fucker.” I chuckled