Hearing a metamour from down the hall exclaim:

Jesus Christ

And then you reply "What did Jesus do this time?"

Only for them to yell

"YOU POSTED IT"

I generally try not to go out unless it’s raining.

The reason is two fold.

1. I can wear a hoodie and no one will bat an eye.

2. No one can hear the damn thing buzz.

The forecast said it would rain, so I prepped for errands. The sky was overcast and clouds heavy with the stuff.

But it’s like the old boss knew I’d try something, so He held the rain back.

That’s just like Him, the fucking prick.

Okay, fine. Just, get to the grocery store, get some lettuce, some bleu cheese, some rice, maybe a seltzer. No one should notice.

Right?

I hopped on my bike because I couldn’t trust the people on public transit not hearing the hum, but I made sure my hood was tight on. No chances. No risks. It’s just a simple milk run.

Everything would be fine.

Getting there was easy. Car noises tend to drown out anything you could hear.

And thankfully, the grocery store was busy and loud. Even if it wasn’t, I could still pass off the buzz as the florescent bulbs overhead. No risks, no chances.

Everything is fine.

Well, except the crowds.

If I bump into the wrong person, someone having a bad day. I could just instantly right it, and that would out me right then and there. So just, act like the last three years is still happening. That still is human enough. Avoid people, don’t touch, mask up.

Everything is fine.

I get the lettuce, the rice, the cheese with no incident. I pause at the wine aisle. It’s been a while since I’ve had the stuff. Maybe I should-

And that’s when the young adult ran into me. College aged, stressed out. Exams, had to be exams. She mumbled a halfhearted apology and sped on. I exhaled, thinking I had it made.

I decided against the wine.

See? Like I said, everything is fine.

I argue with the auto teller, trying to get it to not talk to me.

They changed the User Interface, and removed that option. Easier use for the deaf. They had a point but it was still a lot to deal with. I get outside, and it’s still overcast but dry. I nearly flip off the sky when the student says hi.

Fuck.

“Uh, hey.”

“You’re an angel aren’t you?”

FUCK.

“Uh, no, what gave you that idea?”

“Well, after running into you, I suddenly remembered all the answers to my test.”

Every muscle in my body is tensing. This can’t be happening. “Wow, what a coincidence.” Trying to play it off, I side step the college student.

No dice, she intercepts. “More like Miraculous.”

“Jeeze, kid, I’m not an angel.” I lie.

“Please, I hear the halo buzzing.” She said, and then pulled down my hood.

Light illuminates everything. I push past her, unfurl my wings and make like a Blackbird.

Midway home, I flip off heaven. Those fuckers are watching, I know it.