i think people tend to make this mistake because in both of these communities, a significant aspect is the non-normative way in which friendship, affection, intimacy, and sexuality is expressed, and our society highly stigmatizes non-normative affection, irregardless of whether it's actually "sexual" or not
a very good comparison is that of the way that gay affection is stigmatized as being more inherently "sexual" and inappropriate in public, when there's nothing actually necessarily sexual about two boys kissing or holding hands.
another aspect which contributes to this perception, is that the only thing the average person knows about these communities (if they know anything at all) is that, in some contexts it's "sexual", and so the sexual contexts become the entirety of it in the minds of outsiders.
this aspect is similar to furry: the only thing many non-furries know about furry is that furry porn exists, so a huge proportion of people think that furry is inherently "sexual", inappropriate in public.
with non normative modes of affection, normies have a hard time conceptualizing that just because it can appear in a sexual context, doesn't mean that's the only reason to do it.
straight people kiss both during sex and in the park, and they intuitively understand that they mean different things in these different contexts.
but they have a hard time comprehending that someone could want to wear a collar and leash for reasons other than "sexual" reasons. they lack the empathy to understand the kind of comfort and feeling of safety that can bring. it's ok for them to hold hands while out for a walk, but if my girlfriend was littlespacy and i was being her cg on a walk, their personal discomfort and lack of empathy is suddenly our problem instead of theirs
and this stuff is truly stifling. like i'm speaking in hypotheticals, because most of us in these communities feel afraid to express affection in ways that make us happy except where nobody is watching, behind our doors or on empty streets. the things we want to feel safe doing are utterly harmless. nobody is actually meaningfully hurt by someone just being a puppy in public.
maybe petplay or ageplay makes you uncomfortable, and fucking whatever. it's really, really not any of your business, just like it's not any of your business when people kiss in public. life is full of uncomfortable things. i'm uncomfortable every goddamn day of my life living in this hell world as a queer autistic. the "discomfort" of the lowest common denominator puritan population should not be the bar by which something is acceptable or unacceptable in public.
sorry if i'm not being coherent i'm dehydrated lol. also if you're going to reply to this to try to argue with me, simply don't. i really don't care about your puritan opinions and don't want to hear them. you don't, and cannot, understand how i feel about these as well as i understand how i feel about these things.
