Sooooo, I might've disappeared off this site for a bit now and heavily slowed down on being online with some exception cases {like this cool rp server I joined} so where was I this time?
Well, a bit ago I got into 2kki thanks to a very close friend of mine after years of swearing I'd never play it thanks to having only seen the worst parts of it and just generally being a worse more stubborn person all that time ago {which I was like, very unaware of until recent which really decked potential development}. Now don't get me wrong I am still quite thick skulled at times, especially when it comes to self risk, but playing 2kki has given me a form of appreciation in general.
All these worlds handcrafted by various people, I can't help but love them all for the love that was put into them, even if I might express disdain for certain worlds {The delta_judgement route comes to mind with how hostile it is to navigate} and being able to experience it for yourself {Or as I've been doing, with others using https://ynoproject.net } is an experience I wouldn't pass up with all the beauty in the individual worlds
One particular world strikes a chord with me, Lavender Waters, on the surface it's a really pretty world at the end of a long route, and it still is, but it was there where I found a lot of sentimental value thanks to that close friend of mine, and where I really started to find an appreciation for life, for friends, for myself even
I almost died yesterday even and for the first time in my life I felt scared to die, I knew I had a whole life ahead of me, people to love, sights to see, experiences yet to be done. It felt so different, but refreshing that I could see life as something to be loved, something to appreciate instead of abhor. Looking outside my window to see grass, trees, the sky, all arranged in the familiar pattern they always are, normally it's a sight I see everyday but I've grown fond of it now.
Life's been rough on me recently but I know I'll power through, for my friends, to see another day of god's green earth, for myself even. And that's enough for me to want to continue on, I appreciate it all too much to go out anytime soon, I'll probs post less online since I want to stop and smell the flowers but I just wanted to say my thoughts
Peace out - Toast/Eve/Vin/whatever the fuck y'all call me