In an effort to journal more actively on this site I'm going to note some thoughts and ideas I will try to discuss with my therapist for my appointment today.
As is natural with a rescheduled therapist appointment, I have achieved a rescheduled brain. I will attempt to lay out some additional thoughts and feelings to discuss with The Therapist TM.
- Why does it feel like I go to great lengths to avoid insulting others, and they do not reciprocate that effort?
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- This is mostly to do with public conduct in voice channels in discord and whatnot, where people still use language that makes me uncomfortable (ie. Trap, Retard, Faggot)
- Should I be more trusting of others?
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- A lot to unpack here but basically am I "Too Afraid" of judgement and stigma? Should I be more comfortable with touch? Why is it only a small group I am comfortable with knowing me deeply, when others seem to have a larger group of people they are open with?
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- How come when I mention my discomfort around others to people, they get insulted?
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- Does my fear of others create a fear of revieving love from the people I do trust?
- What the fuck do I do with myself. Getting a job is just so appalling to me right now it's off the table, but what does that leave for me to do?