Avarice

Plurality is something I was made aware of. The confusion I had surrounding it was still less than the number of things that made a lot more sense about myself. Even after I came to terms with my own plurality, I had to spend a lot of time undoing the repression (or maybe suppression) surrounding my alters.

System name isn't finalized. "The Aesthetics System," "Aligned Aesthetics," Ars Aesthetica," you get the idea. Aesthetic is form, both shape and motion. It is physical and experienced by the outside senses. Still working on the shape for it.

Avarice is the host. Most of the time. Ava for short, Avarice is a performer and showman who embraces her own desires and wants others to do the same. She's gotten better at sharing headspace with others lately. Image isn't to scale but I added some notes. Ideally I got all of these down pat but cohost dies soon.

Sam (short for Samael, also called Audacity) doesn't like the word Protector. Namely, Avarice can take care of herself most of the time. She (or he) is more detached, aloof, but still as intense as everybody else. In terms of the math, I still need to decide how stretched this shape could be. Yes it spells "Ava." I've talked to her about it.

Sophia (Auspicious) is, as we've discovered, the core. I assumed there was nothing under the mask of my deadname, so when I took over I neglected to look for her. She denied my existence for most of her life, I neglected her existence once I got the body... we've started being better to each other.

Artifice has the least definition. She's a source of energy. She gives us visions. She speaks only truth.

There's also Femperor (Absolute). Have not gotten a shape for her yet. Has a good grasp on fusion/unity to the extent that her being separated from somebody feels new.

I now know why trans people go by many names each.

You bring one trans girl back to your place to fuck and suddenly you're realized as plural.

It's one of those things where the idea has been inside me for years. I'd dismiss it or call it something else. You know, like how I did with being a girl. But she's showing me this chart she made about her selves and the intersections between them, and it looks eerily similar to a reference drawing I made for what I thought was a writing project. And even if not showing it would have just been a lie of omission, I cannot lie that blatantly.

To clarify, I am still Avarice. I am the unity of my parts. Different facets of me may take up more outwards presence at different times, but not denying my plurality means admitting each piece is at work inside the other as well.