Welp, I uh.
Might be plural.
I dont know how I could confirm this? I don't have the normal amnesiac barriers and for the longest time it wasn't super easy for me to tell, but its something that has come up more than a few times across my life, and I think when certain parts of me start having names and start talking to me, or us? It probably means something is up.
So uh, here's this post. If anyone out there has any advice about how to make sure things go smoothly for us, that'd be nice.
Also, there will be this bunny rabbit that will be blogging a lot more now. I'll borrow a convention of someone I follow and use emojis to show who's talking at the time. She likes this one 💗
-King 👑
He's suuuuuper nervous about this post which is why she's talking so hesitantly...
I'm the bunny rabbit they talked about btw. You can call me Bunny! I'm curious to learn more about this stuff too tbh!!! So if anyone out there sees this, leave a comment!
-Bunny 💗
- Any/All/None
Hi! I'm Fool, and I'm a bi genderfluid artist who gets too easily distracted!
in reply to @FoolMoon's post:
Hey welcome to the community!! First of all, I just wanna tell you that this post’s existence is “confirmation” enough lol 💀 There’s nothing like a headmate (or alter, part, whatever you like) making an addition to a post and signing off with their name and the original poster still being nervous about it. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there, in some shape or form.
Secondly, posting any more questions you have here on Cohost would be really useful! The community here just loves answering questions, talking about their experiences, and hearing about others’. Exploring your plurality for the first time can be pretty stressful and it can feel like it’s taking a lot of your time, but having support from others can ease your worries and even make it fun!
I still have a lot to learn finally accepting it is all. My head feels a lot busier but at the same time I feel like I'm actually able to get stuff done now. Idk. I really do appreciate the support from the comments already. It helps me feel less nervous. 👑 -King
They're still suuuuuper nervous, but they have started calming down through the day. I think she is worried it'll be a phase or something, but I don't really care one way or another, mostly because its nice to finally talk and actually petition for time at the front so I can do stuff I wanna do. It feels like our thoughts are finally organizing in a funny way! Before it was always kind of hazy and we just kind of did whatever passed the time the easiest, but when we switch out fronts we are a lot more productive!
Anyways, thanks for the comment! I'm sure we'll have a lot more questions in the future! 💗-Bunny
Edit: Just put our names here to make sure you know who's talking :3 💗 -Bunny
Denial is a bitch and a half, and as far as I know, it absolutely lingers past the first stages of discovery. But if your life feels like it’s going smoother, that’s all that matters!
hi! nice to meet you king and bunny, and congrats on coming out! i agree with everything the first commenter said, yall say you're real and that's proof enough
we figured out relatively recently too! it's definitely a big shift in things, but you'll adjust, we promise :]
as for things going smoothly:
- don't rush too fast if you're not ready
it might be tempting to try to figure out everyone in your head all at once, who does what and who's here when. you want to figure out everything about yourselves! but that can put a lot of strain on your brain. it ended up overwhelming us, so our therapist told us to just focus on who's here in the moment and that's worked pretty well! let people come in naturally, introduce themselves, take things at a pace that’s comfortable (whether that means slow or not)
- try to be kind to all your headmates
this seems self-explanatory, but we’ve messed up a few times on this! you might get a headmate that you didn’t expect, like a fictional character from an embarrassing source or a youtuber or maybe they talk in an unexpected way. try to be kind to everyone, let them be themself as long as it doesn’t cause actual issues. we have a headmate from a show we think is annoying, but he’s still a beloved member of our crew
if a headmate is causing problems try to be firm but compassionate. everyone is in there for a reason, and they’re all capable of change. no one is doomed to be the same as they were as they arrived, if singlets are capable of change your headmates are too. even the harshest persecutors can become protectors
- help your headmates explore themselves
suddenly existing (or, realizing you exist) can be hard! I know a lot of my headmates came out and were immediately like “I have no idea what I like”. watch shows and movies, read about different things (or browse the internet), see what sparks an interest in them. physical hobbies are especially good for giving them something to do instead of just be online, though as people who are hermits we get that’s hard. you seem like artists, so try drawing eachother/yourselves, having an idea of what you Look Like can mean a lot
also, many systems have something called a “headspace”, you might have heard of them! we didn’t think we had one until we realized theyre not literal: headspace is a tool, thought exercises to connect with eachother. Its kind of like meditation. imagine interactions with eachother when you can feel their presence, imagine what it might look like when you’re “piloting” the ship- it feels like pretend, but these can be more “real” than you’d think!
we're wishing you luck on figuring stuff out! the cohost plural community has been very kind to us in helping us figure out things, and we're sure it'll be the same for you :]
we forgot to say!! the app simplyplural does wonders for being able to communicate with eachother better, yall should try it!
Gosh! Thanks for all of your advice! We'll do our best to get along of course! King has been coping with this stuff all day and I've been trying to keep them calm and let him know it'll be ok. ^_^
Also, we'll for sure try simplyplural! Probably more reliable than discord in a lot of ways >:3.
Also for fun, the way we've been "piloting" has been kind of like going up to a floating mask and sticking our faces in it.
If you've ever seen the comic where a flaming skull is president its kind of like the tantrum hole but for being the one talking.
-Bunny 💗
🫧 you're doing a good job, we comfort vurren a lot when they're feeling stressed out!
it's a lot more reliable than discord hehe. you can fill out member profiles, log fronts, set reminders, make polls members can vote on, ect. you can even have your own chatroom with channels LIKE discord!
and OMG yeah, we've seen that comic!! it's really silly, hehe x'3 that's such a fun way to pilot!
Best advice we can give when starting out is to try and contact whomever you can and get their perspectives! It looks like you've already started doing that which is great. Consistent interaction will train those habits of listening to the others there. Take your time trying to find everyone, but locating, identifying, and learning to differentiate between different people will definitely help you out. Best of luck to you all!
We'll try! We're up to three now!
I'll make a pinned eventually were we can introduce ourselves, but I'll probably be the one talking the most on here :3
-Bunny 💗