Hunter the Radiant Knight frowned at the uncouth, glowing statue displayed at the center of a town. A woman- or at least they say its a woman- was displayed completely topless with muscles so large and bulging it could make a weight-lifter cry. In Hunter's eyes, the only things remotely feminine about the figure were the muscle-person's twin tails and skirt. The woman's right hand held some detestable extraterrestrial super villain. Even when depicted in a memorial, the villain blushed at her capture like the sicko they were. The plaque read "JUST MARRIED - have this statue as our parting gift!" which Hunter assumed was some kind of joke he wasn't getting.
The worst part of it all wasn't how tacky the statue was. Or even the brazen display of female presenting nipples. Or that it was apparently a cherished village heritage piece that could not be moved or studied. No, the worst part was that this statue was likely radioactive and actively creating unlicensed magical guardians and villainesses. And as a member of kNights Against Riotous Chaotic Magical Abuse & Destruction (aka NARC-MAD) he just couldn't stand for this.
There was no way this town just naturally was full of magical persons, villains, and people of fetishistically unconventional attractiveness. No, this was clear abuse of magic artifacts. Talentless rubes were being gifted magic they did not deserve by that damn statue. And he was going to prove it by shadowing recent college student transfer Rose Smith, a clear civilian with no magical aptitude. He just had to wait for the right moment, catch her in the act of sudden unlicensed magic, make her admit to her wrongdoings, and NARC-MAD would have the story of the year.
So he just had to stalk this college student for an indeterminate amount of time. He tried not to think too hard about the ethics of this. This was investigative journalism at its finest, and sacrifices needed to made to reveal the truth.
He'd finally get his chance one day at the library.
He made sure to always keep a plausibly deniable distance. So he was few desks over when he heard another college student issue Miss Smith a challenge.
"You've never noticed me! Why can't you recognize my interest in you? Is it because you can't see who I truly am?... I'll make you pay attention!" a woman ranted. Hunter checked this mystery person on his visor. Ariel Willow... a sporty but demure student with a rank F in magical potential and no criminal history. Yet despite that, Miss Willow appeared to be drawing in power for a particularly villainous speech.
A giant cartoonish castle materialized beneath Ariel's feet, lifting her on top of it. Giant toy soldiers appeared from the castles gate, crossing over a plastic looking drawbridge.
"Seize her!" commanded Ariel.
In that moment, something came over Miss Rose Smith. An energy radiated over her. The normally lazy and slouchy girl stood tall. Her hoodie poofed into a showy top. Her abs hardened. Her back straightened. Her chest pushed forward confidently.
Rose smirked, "I won't let you have your way! With the power of friendship, anime, and-"
"I got you! That's unlicensed magic usage! You're not magical! Neither of you are!" Hunter jumped into action, preparing his cuffs of justice.
Realization hit both Rose and Ariel. "I'm not?" They said, nearly in unison.
The toy soldiers fell over. Rose's stance started to slouch. Ariel looked a little embarrassed. Rose's top returned to a hoodie that hadn't been washed for a few weeks. Ariel's castle deflated. Rose's bust left to greener pastures with a dramatic pop.
Hunter smiled. "You're not. In fact, neither of a hint of magical capability. You've never used magic before! This is unnatural!" Now all he needed them to do was to admit it- and his visor was recording every word.
Rose looked glumly into her greasy hoody "I might have suspected it, but..."
"Go on... And I'll go easy on you in my arrest." Hunter smiled.
"Well-" Rose nearly cried- before being interrupted again.
"Dude!" An onlooker, apparently baked out of his mind, had appeared "You babes are really stopping it there right before it got interested? Man- lesbians really do take things slow."
Hunter rolled his eyes. "Don't listen to this buffoon. He clearly doesn't know-"
"As a school therapist, its not good to simply keep things in." Another distraction! A sharply dressed woman approached Ariel. "I may be on the side of justice, but I want you to know that supervillainry can be an extremely healthy outlet for your inner torment."
"But neither of you are magical-" Hunter grunted through his teeth, only to be interrupted by a loud BIIIISH and toppling of books.
A very topless giant naga woman had appeared in the library from a newly formed giant naga woman shaped hole.
"My sssnake sssenssse sssssmellsss a neew sssailor ssscout. Are you prrrepared for the Ebony Snake?" The naga woman cracked a whip, showed off her many villainous piercings, and slowly took in the scene. A slow realization washed over her. This was not the time. The woman parts shrunk into girl and the snake parts shrunk into an oversized goth top. Soon, a decent-enough, highly studded goth woman stood before them. "Uhm. Sorry about that. I'll uh. Be back at a better time. For like- Snake bondage and stuff." The woman turned and left.
Hunter was flabbergasted. Was this considered normal here? "None of you are professionals! You're just affected by that radioactive space statue! You are in no way licensed-"
"ENOUGH!" energy boomed from Ariel. Suddenly the castle, toy soldiers, the whole thing- was back. "This is MY moment! MY crushing isolation! MY melodrama!" A tiara appeared over Ariel's head, landing and crushing her lanky, sporty proportions down to adorable supervillain princess sizes. "If you refuse to fight me, with your SILLY power of friendship, I'll take you by force and you'll be nothing more than my pretty toy forever!"
A second burst of energy flew out from Rose, knocking Hunter back. It was too late. Not only was a crowd forming around the two girls- Rose had begun her transformation sequence. Transformation sequences were de-facto proof of magical girlhood- litigating someone with a transformation sequence for unlicensed magic usage was legally dubious at best.
Rose, standing tall with spikey hair, a showy top & skirt, and an exaggerated yet tomboyish body that suggested a lifetime of fighting and other delinquent behavior, strode forward. A bat materialized into her dominant hand. "If you think you can win easily, you got another thing coming!" she declared.
As the sounds of magical girl on toy solider violence rung out, Hunter the Radiant Knight was getting the sense he should probably leave. What an embarrassing failure. At least if he got out now, it wouldn't reflect poorly on NARC-MAD. In fact, if was discreet enough, perhaps one of his sponsors could probably produce an air-tight alibi for him.
He quietly skulked away from the scene, dodging a few toy soldier parts slammed into the audience and ignoring the impassioned speeches that marked an intense rivalry between magical girl and villain.
