if reddit and twitter and discord and forums and email and cohost all die, you can still contact me on my page at 123guestbook.com
We here at Gadfly Goods are pleased to report that our guestbook has seen a 160% increase in total posts within the past 12 hours. In an era where social media platforms are struggling to even maintain their current userbases, this shows an astounding level of growth and potential. We attribute our rapid success to an obscure business tactic known as "Waffle's Revenge."
Thank you @cania and q 3 for hopping on the early adopter train.
Media and business inquiries can either be made on the guestbook or in the comments to this post.
While our humble social media platform showed some really promising growth earlier this week, we regret to inform you that our service has experienced a positively (or rather, negatively) precipitous fall over the course of the past 24 hours.
Over the past day, our site has had zero new posts, zero likes, zero shares, zero livestreams, and zero squirts. Our investors find this drop in user engagement to be unacceptable. They are banging on our doors with forks and pitchtorches, ranting and raving and weeping and wailing and gnashing their teeth, shouting phrases such as "GIVE US THE RETURN ON INVESTMENT YOU PROMISED!", "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!", and "WHEN ARE YOU ADDING SUPER REACTS!??!"
In the spirit of panic and poor decision making, we are announcing sweeping changes to our business in order to rein in costs and maximize profits. First, we have fired all our employees, including our vanilla dude-looking programmers, furry programmers, IT specialists, lawyers, moderators, advertisers, salespersons, upper management, middle management, and lower management. This reduction in staffing will allow us to operate in a more agile and flexible fashion, being unencumbered by pithy things such as meetings, payroll, and Jira.
Now, we understand that our users (current, former, and prospective) might take objection to this reduction in staffing, and worry that we are just replacing all of these hardworking employees with Al. We can assure you that this is not the case -- it has been our company policy since the beginning to not hire anybody named Albert.
As for our path to profitability, we intend to listen to our investors and their input into how to best unsustainably grow and ruthlessly monetize our userbase. Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to open this front door and have a nice meeting with these all of these reasonable and civil people shouting at

