Gengar

Morg

@Gengar

Queer crow tiefling beast

  • They/Them

I’m morg I do da podcasts! @thesonicshuffle and @checkoutthisguy which are both on https://noisespace.xyz/

Also @tiefling and @hauntingthemorg but I’m most active here

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posts from @Gengar tagged #microblogvember

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Gengar
@Gengar

5. Rage against a kitchen appliance

god im going to sound like an absolute loser but I was afraid of using the oven for so long it was legitimately till college? I was just like so nervous about the fact it could hurt me and burn down my house I took it to the most extreme possible. Or like a gas oven and gas stove especially since we had electric growing up so I was like wow my apartment with this gas stove is going to catch fire if I’m not careful. I just had a strong fear of fires for so long growing up I guess all the PSAs worked on me even though it didn’t work on my family. I’d tell them to get more smoke detectors and they were like yea sure ok and then forgot. Which I mean. I do that now! I wouldn’t be surprised if I died in a fire after all after all of that fear. Sorry this isn’t supposed to be nihilistic and I am definitely doing a bunch to prevent that but. I fall asleep on the couch so easily so I’m genuinely worried about lighting candles in my house when I’m alone in the house even if I like the smell and the ambient light.

I guess like rage wise it’s more like I get annoyed when food isn’t heated all the way through which happens the most specifically with my home microwave. Not any other I’ve used like my work one is fine. But my home microwave sucks shit and makes me want to die when I eat lukewarm food. I’ve gotten better at knowing how long it actually takes at least lol

Gengar
@Gengar

4. A hobby you will never do

Chances are there’s many hobbies I’ll never do even if I want to? I have no hope to start writing music or playing guitar even if I’ve thought about it before. Like not to be a defeatist but I lose interest and then I feel like damn I spent all that money on a guitar, or I made a small amount of a song in a program and I don’t have anywhere I want to put it. I have a hard enough time sticking to hobbies that I DO in fact do, like I say I write sometimes and it’s so hard to get myself to. Part of it is probably this sense of needing to capitalize on a hobby or it’s not worth doing stuff that is pushed all the time when people are like it’s all about the hustle. That’s like background noise even if I am trying to make stories for myself. But even if I tune that out I struggle to want to put into words my feelings about the world and stuff. I want to try to write to get my ideas about like climate crisis anxiety out but then it just makes the anxiety worse.

Hobbies I won’t do most likely due to disinterested is anything to do with team sports. Maybe I’d do non team ones but I have a hard enough time doing those I can’t imagine doing a team sport even if it’s with people I am friends with. Which I guess is probably too bad but the anxiety of that and the amount of energy needed seems really hard.

Gengar
@Gengar

3. candle scents

my family loves scented candles, it reminds me a bunch of my mom and sis to have scented candles or incense around the house. but i can't remember their favorite scents at the moment. i should ask them.

i like the scents a lot too, but for some reason i never get any. i feel like it has something to do with my laziness about putting stuff up as decoration in my room or the living room. i dunno if it's actual laziness or some kind of subconscious reluctance. i don't know why im psychoanalyzing myself right now.

candles have a cool symbolism with them i like that they're used a lot in various rituals and shit. its like people like to see the movement and power behind a flame it's cool.

Gengar
@Gengar

2. weapons in a planetarium

this reminds me of every time i walked by the hospital for my last job how it has a sign on the glass saying "please don't bring in assault weapons" and idk it gave me a sinking feeling when i would see it even though it's like. guns n shit are hard as fuck to get here, and there's other problems i should be thinking about at a hospital i guess? if i am gonna think about stuff like that at all. it's just anxiety stuff, but it always feels so... close by i guess.

i think i got worried too when my sis, who works as a patient care tech, had like some kind of vague incident of violence on a night she wasn't working and i was reminded of that again because obviously people are gonna be like. super emotional at a hospital? i know this is about a planetarium not a hospital but like. just public places where people could bring weapons. buffalos not too far from me and there was the tops shooting and stuff.

i always want to say something like more profound than just worrying again and again but what is there to say that hasnt been said by people better at thought kinds of words and stuff than me?