• they/he + xey/xem

Aspiring artist and writer on the interwebs.

∞ Autistic w/ ADHD ∞
ᓚᘏᗢ Nyanbinary ᓚᘏᗢ
Ⓐ Leftist & Environmentalist Ⓐ

Partner of @Huplactose


Carrd (i.e. Important Links)
gigi-the-catjoy.carrd.co/

(Turning on loop for the music is recommended.)
(I.e. play video --> right click/tap & hold --> loop.)

It’s best out of three; the score is one-to-one. A drop of sweat meandered its way down the center of my brow. The air smelled with the sour shock of an electric tension — one I could practically taste. My posture… was terrible. I began to reflect on all the events which have led to this. This could be my moment, I thought to myself. The thought made my heart race faster than the frenzied beat of the digitized drums playing on the character select screen. This could be it.


I’ve always been trash at Rivals of Aether. It seemed to be a universal constant; no matter how hard I tried, and no matter how much progress I’ve seemingly made, I’ve never once stood a chance against the tryhards on ranked mode. They’re only within a couple ranks away from me — some Bronze 3, a couple Silver 4, some even the same rank as me: Bronze 5 — the lowest rank. But still, somehow, even the lowest among them felt like titans to me. I’ve played all the tutorials, too — yet, I have not a single set to my name. I bite my lip, for that changes today.

“CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER!” The words weren’t on the screen, nor were they even said by an announcer, but I could still hear them in my head. It’s such a staple of the genre that it’s impossible not to imagine — especially in a moment with stakes as high as these. The deep, raring exclamation echoes throughout my body, and commands me to stay in the present moment. I move the cursor to my main’s icon, and select my character: Clairen — the plasma sword-wielder. I press the start button, indicating that I’m ready to fight.

It’s time to select an arena. I won the last game, so I get to ban three stages from the roster. I opt to ban Endless Abyss and Air Armada, of course; as a Clairen, I need my platforms — and I’m not risking getting pineapple’d, obviously. With one stage left to omit from this match, I think back to the first game of the set. Oh geez, why did I pick Forest Floor against an Orcane player? A single tear runs down my face, just thinking about it. I’m not making the same mistake twice. With a press of a button, I remove Forest Floor from the realm of possibility. My opponent wastes no time choosing from the remaining arenas.

“Rock Wall?” I chuckle, confused. “That’s funny. Usually this stage is mostly preferred by people who play… KRAGG?!”

Time seems to slow to a screeching halt as it sinks in. Oh god… In just the three seconds it takes for the countdown timer to reach zero, my entire life flashes before my very eyes. I didn’t notice they switched to Kragg! I would’ve banned this stage if I knew they switched to Kragg!

Frozen with fear, I watch in horror as the anthropomorphic rhinoceros beetle stomps the ground with immense force — erupting spikes from the ground and launching my character into the air. I panic — and D.I. in.

NO!

By the time I realize what I should’ve done, it is already too late. Holding my control stick toward the opponent as I’m flying through the air, unactionable, I leave myself in a position closer to Kragg than what is safe. The beetle punches up from below, sending me higher into the air. Time moves so slowly, but the action happens so fast. By the time I even process where the combo is going, I find myself landing on the top-right platform of the arena. I miss the tech input — leaving me vulnerable, still. Kragg positions himself in the air above me, and summons a pillar of earth from below — knocking me into just the perfect position for an up-strong attack. I’m fired into the blast-zone, and my first life of three is eliminated. Boom. Zero-to-death.

Jimbo D.I. — a rookie mistake... I shake my head. Clairen appears on the respawn platform. With just a moment of invulnerability to my name, it’s barely enough to catch a breather. I center myself. This is still my moment. I can still win this.

I drop from the respawn platform, bouncing back into battle. I still have a fraction of a second of invulnerability left — and as my realization of the situation finally settles within me, a switch is flicked within my brain. It’s time for me to fight back.

Clairen’s sword has a unique property to it: if I strike my opponent with just the tip of my fiery blade, I deal more damage and knockback to them. In addition, doing this will stun the opponent for a brief moment — making it easier for me to connect a follow-up attack.

I approach Kragg with a burst of speed and determination, desperately clinging to the thread of hope that is my brief window of invulnerability. The sudden zapping sound of a tipper-strike rings in my ear like the fizzing of a cold, carbonated drink on my tongue. It’s just as refreshing too, if not more so. It reminds me that this is not over, yet. I strike my opponent again.

The Kragg player manages to escape my combo before I can provide a second follow-up. Yet, they do not punish my attempt to land one — for I dash away in the nick of time. Lucky for me, that’s all I needed; my confidence resurges. Stage control: even. Character positions: grounded. Actionability: positive, for both players. The “neutral game” has been reset.

“Heh… no matter,” I say to myself, confidently. I pop my neck and get to work.

Oh, but little do I know, the spaghetti is cooking — for something has changed, ever since the moment I appeared on that respawn platform. Rationality has gone out the window; I’m running on instinct, now.

What happened next was nothing short of a faded dream. The Kragg and I must have been in a similar boat, focus-wise — because both of us were throwing out moves like monkeys. A couple seconds in and nothing felt coherent, anymore. The fine lines in my brain dividing my actions into separate, easy-to-digest parts quickly faded into uncomfortable gradients. I no longer know where my attacks start and end. I struggle to keep track of when I can act and when I cannot. I lose control of my character like a racecar spinning off the racetrack — but although this is a spinout, and even though I can hardly see, I still have yet to crash. Despite whiffing my attacks at least as often as I land them, I somehow manage to make lightning strike twice. ZAP! The sound catches my attention; I refocus, and my mind sharpens. After having mindlessly approached Kragg with a moonwalking short hop, I’ve managed to hit the beetle-man with a backward aerial attack. He’s in tipper-stun, too! I gasp.

There’s only half a second to act; I need to think fast or not at all. Instinct kicks in again — but this time, it’s for the better. As if commanded by God Almighty himself, I fastfall to the ground and unleash my down-strong attack, launching the heavy brute off the stage and into the blast-zone! The life-count is now even: two-to-two.

“Haha! Yes!” I clench my fist and pump my arm up into the air. The game is even! Victory is so close, I can hardly taste it! After so much trial and error, my first step towards true glory is finally visible on the horizon!

Kragg wastes no time hopping down from the respawn platform. He immediately lifts a cube of earth from the ground below and starts chucking it towards me. The block of rock hits my face with an insulting level of force, only to bounce back into Kragg’s hands. He tosses it again — and again — and then I die.

“Urgh!” I grunt, frustrated. “Dumb insect with his dumber Minecraft block… I bet he thinks he’s Kragging so hard.”

I realize I’m not making any sense the moment the words leave my mouth. There’s nobody around to witness me, but I still feel a bit flustered. Keep your head in the game.

I in fact did not keep my head in the game. Once again, autopilot begins to take over. I start and stop paying attention to my opponent, throwing out attacks into the mist when I can hardly see what’s in front of me. It’s as though I’m kicking when I should be playing footsies.

I can’t be playing like this — not now! My heart beats anxiously and inconsistently — the trembling, indecipherable rhythm of my mind and body obscuring the action within the screen. My mistakes are punished again and again — the damage on me swiftly racking up. Where am I? Is this really happening? I need an opening — quick. C’mon, Kragg! Do something stupid!

As if answering my prayers — as though the Kragg player were just as impatient as me — I see it coming from a lightyear away. Charging his slowest-yet-most powerful kill move, the Kragg leans back and prepares to headbutt a perfectly actionable Clairen. I know exactly what I must do.

You may or may not need me to tell you this, but Rivals of Aether terminology is weird. Not only do the universal game mechanics come with odd labels (e.g. wavedashing, plat-boosting, DACUSing, etc.), but the community has invented character-specific names for almost every move in the game. For example, that combo I landed earlier, which eliminated Kragg’s first life (or “stock” as they are professionally called), could also be identified as an “ice-violence.” If I landed an upward aerial attack afterward, it would be called an “ice-violence-baby” — and before you ask: yes, “ice-ice-baby” is a thing. Oh, and character-specific combos have unique names, too. For example, a “baby-thunder” is also known as “hitting the Larry,” and a “dubstep-violence-baby-thunder” is called the “living like Larry” — neither of which I’ve ever been able to do, sadly. So, that’s why when I countered Kragg’s headbutt and combo’d it into an up-strong attack, I gasped and said under my breath in awe, “I hit it — the fabled Fortnite-thunder!”

Kragg flies into the stratosphere and the decisive THUD sound of my second K.O. of the game boldly plays from my computer’s speakers. It’s music to my ears.

This entire match has been a blur for me — out of everything I’ve tried in the past sixty seconds, I don’t even remember what worked and what didn’t. As naive as it may sound, however, I don’t care. I’m closing the gap. The life-count is one-to-one, and I can feel the heat rising. That burning flame will carry me to the end.

It’s best out of three; the score is one-to-one. Each of us is on our last life. My brow is dripping with sweat from the heat of the match. Cheers of passion and excitement fill my conscience. The sounds weren’t coming from the game, nor did they erupt from a live audience — for there was no audience — but I could still hear them in my head. The moment is so tense, so explosive and electrifying, it’s hard not to imagine. It was just an online ranked match, but I didn’t care. It felt like I was in Genesis grand finals, going toe-to-toe against CakeAssault in an all-out fight for the number one spot! Though, Cake doesn’t play Kragg; maybe I’d be fighting ZeeBee or MSB… but I digress! What matters now is that I’m here, and so much is on the line — my pride; my time; my energy; my passion. The music plays with fast, frenzied, unbridled exhilaration and enthusiasm; through it, I can hear the Rivals of Aether gods singing to me, as if Dan Fornace himself is commanding me to seize the day. This is where I find hope! This is where my story begins! This is my moment!

I cement my focus. It feels like I’m really there in the arena. I dig my heels into the dirt. This is where I stand. This is where I fight. This is where I win. Dashing towards victory, everything becomes a blur, once again — but it’s different, this time. My control is unwavering. My speed is unmatched.

Charging into the threat zone of an invulnerable Kragg may seem like the dumbest decision imaginable, but that couldn’t be further from the truth — for I now know that this player is just as impatient as me; they must be itching to use that respawn invulnerability to their advantage! Anticipating their attack in response to my approach, I parry. The interaction leaves me with a blink of invincibility, and Kragg with a moment of paralysis. I capitalize on my brief advantage with a quick and efficient “shoop da whoop” combo. I feel very cool.

Neutral resets, but the pace of the game is only picking up. In mere seconds — no, fractions of fractions of a second — it’s already one clash after another, and another, and another. Attacking and dodging; jabbing and parrying; baiting and punishing at breakneck speeds — we are but faded streaks of light dancing dangerously around and into one another. Back and forth. Fast and fierce. The action is so fast it obscures itself, for the match is moving at a blistering pace — but this time, I’m moving along with it. I have a tighter grip on the steering wheel now — and with my foot flooring the gas, I’m not slowing down until the race is done. The tide of the game is turning in indecisive circles. The push and pull of the match is relentless.

Strike and dash; parry and strike.

For those who don’t know — in most platform-fighting games (Rivals of Aether included) you don’t have a health bar; you have a percent meter — but don’t be mistaken! You don’t die when your damage reaches 100%; you only die via ring-outs — when you’re sent into the all-encompassing abyss known as the “blast-zone.” The higher your percentage, the farther you fly when you get hit. It’s just expected that the average character will usually die around 100%.

So, one can imagine my fear when my tunnel-vision wore out. Before I knew it, our cumulative aggression and determination brought us to the scariest part of Rivals of Aether: the late game. My damage meter is at 152%. My opponent’s damage is at 146%. Kragg may be heavy, but it’s dangerous territory for both of us.

My heart pounds, for with every frame — every sixtieth of a second — that passes in-game, I’m reminded of the stakes of every action and inaction I take; at every moment that time itself is progressing, I am making some kind of decision. One wrong move, and it’s all over.

Dashing back and forth with lightning speed and surgical precision, I tease Kragg’s threat zone while staying just barely far enough to be almost safe. I bait the Kragg player into unleashing his familiar, mighty stomp. Spikes erupt from the earth in front of him. I parry.

This is it. Don’t throw it away!

I approach the beetle in the blink of an eye. Slashing upward, I knock my opponent into the air almost directly above me — but he’s not dead, yet. Something flicks within my brain.

It’s time to do something crazy.

I’m not sure what came over me. The moment is faded within my mind, yet I feel it so vividly. All I remember is pressing the buttons and watching the rest unfold before my very eyes. I release my quaking thumb from the jump button within one twelfth of a second; Clairen lifts herself off the ground with a short hop. I press the attack button while holding up — an upward aerial attack. The spacing was perfect. Connecting just the tip of my sword, I land on the ground before Kragg recoils from the hit. I hold up. I press the strong attack button. I gasp suddenly as it connects, leaping from my seat and cheering passionately the moment the final blow strikes!

“I DID IT! I HIT THE LARRY!” If there was an audience, that audience was me. My screams of enthusiasm were beyond visceral, filling my world with a level of energy I didn’t think my body was capable of. Losing my balance from the intensity of the moment, I fall to the ground. I have the biggest, dumbest smile on my face. I can feel the heat of my blush. I’m covered in tears. This is my moment. It’s finally here.


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