Glad-Hatter

The Glad Hatter

@Glad-Hatter

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Glad-Hatter
@Glad-Hatter
bruno
@bruno
shel
@shel

My cohost revenue ideas

  • Don't just be a Patreon competitor... Be an OnlyFans competitor...
  • Paying $5 let's you Slime another user. A green png of nickelodeon slime is placed on top of their avatar for a few days.
  • Beloved banner ads that are weird and become community memes. These should be for weird small businesses and for 18+ users probably sex toy boutiques lbr
  • Sponsored Vacation Days. Users can donate $400 to sponsor giving their favorite staff member a day off. Said user is celebrated publicly for their generosity and we all thank them for donating a day off.
  • The Money Hole. Users can "purchase" randomly chosen "fortunes" "curses" and "blessings" (written by cohost's writer community) with the statement that the more money you throw into the Money Hole the more powerful the fortune, curse, or blessing will be. This functions as a way for users to make large one time contributions to Cohost while still "making a purchase" so it's not a "donation"
  • If you mail $20 cash to staff you receive a monthly Donation Item which your avatar can wear to look like an anime catgirl
  • It now costs $3 to make a post about computers. The angry tech worker crowd will shell out the bucks to continue complaining about computers.
  • We do not implement comment likes but we do implement paying to put a little trophy on comments which puts them at the top of the comments section.
  • Friends of Eggbug Society. Group that actively organized fundraisers for Cohost like a library Friends group.
  • Users can pay to "win the argument" or "win the discourse." For $15 a green banner appears on a comment in a thread which says "THIS USER HAS WON THE ARGUMENT" and that comment can no longer be replied to, ensuring the winner has the final word.
  • Tumblr lets you pay to give another user crabs. Cohost lets you pay to give another user a yeast infection
  • Multi-Level Marketing
bruno
@bruno
  • Cohost Battle Pass
  • Cosmetics shop with hats and emotes for your avatar (available items for sale refreshed daily with a countdown timer showing when)
  • Yearly $60 expansion pack (with the new raid, weapons, open-world area, discourse, etc)
  • Horse armor
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in reply to @shel's post:

keiya
@keiya

the banner ads are from Something Awful.

actually let's be honest Something Awful probably did most of these at some point. especially since like half of them could be implemented with the ability to buy avatar changes for other users.

(you spell out Patreon/OnlyFans and Tumblr, and Reddit was already mentioned, so I think that's all of them?)

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blit
@blit

It now costs $3 to make a post about computers. The angry tech worker crowd will shell out the bucks to continue complaining about computers.

fucking hell, I’d spend so much

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kaara
@kaara

Users can pay to "win the argument" or "win the discourse." For $15 a green banner appears on a comment in a thread which says "THIS USER HAS WON THE ARGUMENT" and that comment can no longer be replied to, ensuring the winner has the final word.

now this is what im talking about

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rosieposie
@rosieposie

honestly i'd pay for the ability to pin comments. you should be able to pin a comment to the comment submission box so that people are forced to read it before commenting themselves so that you don't get 30 replies saying the same exact thing

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polymath
@polymath

better still, hide the expected cliche'd comments, then make it so you can't comment unless you have at least $5 of Cohost Credit. commenting is free but if your comment is too much like one of the expected ones then you lose $5 credit

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rosieposie
@rosieposie

pull in that one tumblr blog that rates peoples post based on how many letters of the alphabet they use as a cohost official guideline. for every letter you miss, you lose 1$. -- sphinx of black quartz judge my vow shield --

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samanthaistyping
@samanthaistyping

"be an onlyfans competitor" you joke but I didn't know subscriptions were a feature staff was working on and now I'm very excited to use that both for smut AND non smut. A 5% platform cut here is a lot better than onlyfans' 20% (which itself is better than most other porn sites that don't even allow hypnosis) and I'd actually be happy about where it's going

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