Goemar

Part of the Qtoid migration

  • He/Him

This will be my first Christmas without my Grandad. All 33 before it he's been there. This is probably the only place on the Internet I feel I can post this, because in a way I guess it has no place being posted anywhere - but I also want to share it, not because I particularly think it can help anyone, but so it can cause a moment of reflection this time of year. To remember the impact and memory of those who are gone, and to renew the love and appreciation for those whom remain.

And thus as I wish you all a Merry Christmas, I leave you all with the words I spoke on the day we gathered to say our final goodbyes.


My Grandad, Keith.

He did not feel like a man of this world. More of something of a fairytale, like the last remanent of childhood wonder one felt when Santa and the tooth fairy were known to be true.

This almost magical-being presence was created by a number of factors; first being the fact that for most of my childhood - I could not understand most of what he was saying, instead relying on his trusty translator, my grandmother, to share with us what had been said. Further aided by stories of him feeding Robins from his hand, charging into quicksand to save my mother’s puppy and (and if this isn’t true, I don’t wish to know) of him training a Hare to turn on light switches. It was like something out of Snow White.

And - because he didn’t seem to be mortal. Having a full head of hair for far longer than my own father, in my living memory, and having been diagnosed with at least 3 types of cancer – of which he was told would be the end of him in 10 or 20 years - and just shrugging it off. The man wasn’t afraid of death, it was more as if he didn’t understand the concept of it. As if it didn’t apply to him. And somewhere, in some childlike like part of my mind I believed he would live longer than myself, that he would live forever.

Though of course he wasn’t flawless. When I was a child, he would pick up the most destroyed and ruined footballs one could imagine off the street with the claim they were still good to use, and in horse racing the horse that won was always the one he was “going to pick” but never did.

But fairytales are stories to be told, to be passed down and to bring joy. Today we grieve the fact that all stories have an ending. The final page turn where no more words are written. But we must also celebrate the fact that we got to be in that story. The story of a man who was kind enough that Robins would tap on the window to eat seed from his hand.

His gift of childhood wonder in his presence shall be with me always.

To know him is to know magic is real.


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in reply to @Goemar's post:

A few days ago my mom went in for a standard checkup, just to be immediately rushed to the emergency room, where she was until yesterday evening. We learned she has AFib (Atrial Fibrillation). They were worried she could have a stroke at any moment. For 2 straight days they had her plug up to multiple devices and pumping tons of meds to get her heart rate and blood pressure down.
She's luckily fine, but now she's on like 7 meds and has to wear a monitoring device for a week to get a comprehensive look at her heart rate and pulse over an extended period of time.
After what happened with Seymour's mother I was pretty shook. I didn't want to post anything at the time because I didn't really know what was going on. She was at the military base hospital, and I can no longer go on base because I'm not a dependent. I don't have much family left, so it hit me a bit harder than I think it otherwise would.
Anyway, thanks for sharing and I hope you and your family have a merry Christmas.

Beautiful speech about your granddad. Christmases are hard for me cause my grandfather passed away today the 22nd 5 years ago. It has been rough with him gone, but I know he would want us to keep moving forward. I wish you a merry Christmas and hope you and your family can greive and if you need anything feel free to chat with us. 💟

Thank you for sharing. Your grandfather looks to be a great man.

I was lucky enough to grow up with all of my four grandaprents alive. That started changing 6-7 years ago. First, my maternal grandfather, who was a mythical figure and giant of a man in my eyes, passed after wasting away for two years. It hit me hard, but I thought it better for him to die with some dignity left, and we were all committed to honoring his memory.

Unfortunately, less than two years later, my maternal grandmother followed him on quite suddenly and that broke us as a family along with Covid-19 isolation requirements. To this day, the maternal side of my family never recovered, and I don't think they ever well.

From the paternal side, my grandmother passed away earlier this year after two of my uncles and a great-uncle suddenly died, putting my paternal side of the family in a tailspin of grief. Thankfully, it looks like my paternal family has future-proofed our connections, and I hope we always stay close together.

This was a lovely read man,I'm glad I got to say goodbye to my grandad the night before he passed, seems like you got along well with your grandad when you were younger.RIP to him sounds like a lovely guy to be around and hear stories of.

I enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing and of course sorry for your loss. It's a great thing to ever have had people that mean that much to you in your life.