i break the "gay people walk at 1.5 speed" paradigm. i walk with neither haste nor dignity nor purpose. i walk like someone who was forced to at worst and someone who had nothing better to do at best.
laying down, however, i do with tenerity and style. i am the michael jordan of getting cozy.
i walk with 0.5 speed because i rolled a nat 1 on learning to breathe and now my lungs do an evil attack if i'm too athletic (the evil attack is called asthma attack)
I'm always moving at flank speed, and then I wonder why every part of my body bursts into flames
