I still haven't found that right mix for self presentation. I don't feel like I'm an asshole and yet I know that I probably come off as one to some people, maybe even most people for all I know. There's the obvious thought that of course you shouldn't care about the opinions of people you don't respect, or those who don't respect you, but what if the presentation of my self is impacting the opinion of people I do respect or want to respect me? Which aspects of my self do I want to keep and which do I want to change, for myself and for others? I'm already not a very social person, and in public I tend to be pretty cognizant of how I interact with people, but that's just a mask. The longer people know me and the more they interact with me, the more likely they'll have events where they see sides of me that I don't like about myself, and even if I change or get rid of those aspects, those events are in their memory as well as my own, and it feels like I will have to keep returning to those memories or aspects I'd rather be rid of just to apologize for my interactions, or explain that I'm different now and that isn't who I am or what I want to be at my core. I want to be considerate of others, but it just becomes overwhelming to be aware of their own struggles they share when I don't have a handle on my own. I've been fostered with old or outdated beliefs and preconceptions in my upbringing such that my initial unconscious reaction to new or unexpected events causes me guilt or shame. I just wish I could update my subconscious self with my current conscious beliefs so that I don't embarass myself, or treat others poorly with my gut reactions.
ADHD Flavored Furry Transhumanist
[Scroll down for discord link and description]
Hi, I sometimes make bad jokes. I say they're bad, but they're actually quite good. Except when they're bad. A 90's kid of 90's cartoons culture, and a SkunkBatRay furry thing called a Bairoph.
They/Them
LGBTQ+, got ADHD and Anxiety, Neurodivergent as heck and probably somewhere on the Autism spectrum.
I used to make music under my Composer/Brony sona GreyHooves but I don't do that no more.
Learning blender so I can design Architecture and ideas for inventions that would be useful for our inevitable 3D printable future.
Also for modeling furry stuff, probably.
I have potentially š±politicalš± opinions on things, so beware!
Anti-Capitalist, Anti-Colonialist, Futurist, Transhumanist, Conscientious, an Objector to defectors of Humanity and kindness, Never trust anyone in a suit and tie, unless that trust is in their ability to cheat and lie, All Cats Are Bread because they always loafin around,
one bad apples spoils the barrel, so why we always keep the bad ones around?
Sometimes I like to pretend that I can rap.
I'm an army veteran but a Conscientious Objector. I was a nurse back then. Also, I graduated from a commercial diving school and I used to be a treasure diver, and if there's any career advice I can give anyone, don't be swayed by how cool a job sounds, it will easily lose it's appeal depending on your coworkers.
Anywah I quit that job when the pandemic started because of reasons, and am looking for new work in other areas.
Man, it'd be cool to be a hivemind.
Oh yeah, I like to make diagrams and share knowledge, so there is a non-zero chance I will do so when I get activated. I like translating knowledge into more easily understood forms like diagrams, and I like making those things freely available to everyone. Information should be freely available to everyone, and I hate patent systems which gatekeep, hoard, and hold back inventors and innovators, and I obviously love open source things. Like Blender! I dunno how to work the code, but I like fact that if I did, I could.
That's how everything should be :3
Anywah.
I have plans to develop a Rent-Free community in Nova Scotia, and I am looking for like-minded people who can help me do that.
Here is my server https://discord.gg/FDNwRHd
If you are interested in:
Transhumanism, Futurism,
Anti-Capitalism, Anti-Colonialism, Anti-Fascism, Anti-Racism, Anti-Sexism, Anarchism, Communism, Self-sustainability, Indigenous rights, etc., then you might be interested.
ACAB
LandLords can eat shit
Terfs can fuck off
And we can be happy