One of the most greatest compliments we get is when we realize that the various partners who we helped grow and evolve don't need us anymore. It's bittersweet and painful, but it shows that with our help they have changed for the better.
NGL, it's a bit scary. When you have abandonment issues and a shit ton of AvPD its easy to look for peoples need of you as a way to soothe those fears, and without them it's socially "working without a net." However, in the long run it leads to much healthier relationships. Ones based on want, compatibility, and open communication with less fear of loss if a boundary or complaint needs to be forced.
Brief kink talk past this point.
It's ironic that purely in a kink sense dependency is hot as fuck. However, having a lot of experience there, the best examples of this dynamic are ones that are negotiated and based entirely on want and not need (we don't need to domme anybody to maintain a bond with them, but for those willing we sure as shit enjoy doing it). Dynamics of deliberate dependence can be entered and left if it isn't working out right, and negotiated and re-negotiated. If bringing up an objection or saying a safeword lead to a fear of losing everything, then frankly the dynamic needs to be re-evaluated.
Now, being realistic, independence isn't a feasible goal. We are far too disabled for that and frankly total independence is a capitalist anti-community propaganda piece anyway. The optimal state in our mind is healthy interdependence. Where needs that we can't meet ourselves can be met on a community level when and how available with the understanding that people have boundaries and lives of their own. Where individual connection is based on want, and needs beyond the self are more community driven.
Anyway, the point we are making in a roundabout way is when we come to realize a partner doesn't truly need us anymore like they used to, it makes us immensely proud even if it's a bit scary and bittersweet.