I hate having autism and PTSD and whatever else is making me crying and sobbing about deciding whether or not to go on something I was invited to that's a month from now and to me one month is super last minute for traveling because between the autism and being physically disabled traveling is so hard and stressful. And I hate living in a covid world because that's making all the stress about this trip even if I don't go so much louder than it would be. My partner's family is not as secure as we are about not catching things and even if I decide to not go on this trip they might come back home sick and I'm so scared.