Heatherhorns

Heatherhorns In: The Adventure of the Lost Shipwreck

@Heatherhorns

My comic is here https://cohost.org/Feywads

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Heatherhorns
@Heatherhorns

Pride month starts tomorrow: An urgent request to trans folks (CW: trans stuff obv, mental health, sui)

(disclaimer: this is copied from mastodon, but i have some Strong Feelings so I wanted to say it here too, if that's okay)

Pride month starts tomorrow, and to trans folks, I am urgently requesting you to find some joy this month.

I realize this sounds really flowery and empty. Maybe this isn't the top priority, maybe it feels like it's making yourself feel better in lieu of action.
Regardless, I am still directly and sincerely asking this of you. It doesn't need to be gender-related or a big thing.

But we're fighting an existential threat. Please experience what it is we're fighting for.

I'm currently stuck in Missouri and don't feel safe going to pride this year. I would be sincerely grateful knowing that even in this environment, we're capable of taking a moment and being happy.

If we all disappeared tomorrow, would this fight have been a waste of time? Certainly not if we can say we let some moments of happiness get through. It's tragic to have that snuffed out, but it'd be worse if we were robbed of ever having those moments to begin with.

I've been thinking a lot lately about "the meaning of Christmas" type messaging in relation to us, and to pride.

It's really easy to be conditioned into seeing our celebration as that same kind of feel-good. Or even pacification.

But we've lost so much, and it's so hard to function these days. I think it's absolutely essential that we observe the occasion to meditate - even for a moment - on a bit of happiness that can't be denied.

At the very least, try.

And for the record, I realize this isn't easy for a lot of folks struggling with mental health. I deal with ideation, myself. But even if you don't succeed, at least you showed yourself what you still have, rather than complete resignation.

Even if all you feel is despair, at least you showed yourself you can still try, y'know? Even that is something to celebrate, and it feels important to note that?

also to be quite honest i think my request is best framed as something selfish for me. Like. If you're exhausted doing it for yourself or some theoretical, "happy future-you" that you have to try to imagine.

Then fuck it, do it for me. Do it for some internet rando. Do me a solid. Sometimes it's way easier to do things for others, to be useful. So if you gotta frame it that way, fine. Cause I promise it will make me happy to know you tried to find joy.

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in reply to @Heatherhorns's post:

Kirobsi
@Kirobsi

Things that made me happy in June 2023:

  1. fat (I love it very much it is my favourite thing [friends are not 'things'])
  2. idemtity (mostly-agender fat doe + neopronouns)
  3. La-Mulana
  4. art projects I do sometimes
  5. my gay little friends who let me express myself in my weird little ways c: mostly the stuff listed in points 1-4
  6. my La-Mulana marathon run for Power Up With Pride which went really well, especially given that I commentated with someone I had never spoken to before on a whim lol

I wrote this list on the first day and never had anything more to add to it besides 6 >.<

To elaborate on those:

  1. Fat is, as said, my favourite thing! Which kinda sucks in its own way because I can't really infodump about it, there's not really info to talk about?? Still, I love it to an absurd degree and I really like it when people let me ramble and gush about it as much as I'm able to at a given moment c: I did that last night (June 30th) with someone and it was, as always, very nice! It's just very important to me,, and it will come up twice more lol
  2. Not much to elaborate on here. I don't really feel like I have much gender, mostly just a feminine lean and that's about it. I'm quite enthusiastic about being a deer and being fat, though, those are very important to me. So to express that in some way I started using 'doe/doe' pronouns last year to emphasize my species rather than my gender as she/her did, and I quite like them c:
  3. La-Mulana (Remake and 2) are my favourite games and I very Love them ^w^ it's not as intense a feeling as my passion about fat, but it's still rather potent. They're just wonderful games, I dunno what more to say,,
  4. I work in various little mediums of art sometimes! I've doodled, made videos, done some game development, made some music. But I think the stuff I'm most proud of, at least at the moment, is my writing c: I have not done a lot of it by any means, really it's a pretty pitiful amount, but it's what I've managed. I wouldn't consider it an adequate way to express my overwhelming fixation on fat, but I still think I've done... I don't know, "good things" with it?? weird phrase. I wrote a new one recently! It sorta portrays a kind of casual platonic(?) intimacy that I didn't really know I wanted and that I didn't plan on writing when I started the thing, it sorta just manifested. Also it isn't explicit intimacy, or... I dunno, it's hard to describe to be honest, I'm curious how you might if you choose to read it?
    Anyway it's just two pages long, about a thousand words. funny direct PDF download link if you are interested o,o
  5. I have a very supportive friend group given all of my little (and not-so-little) eccentricities! The one I had about a year and a half ago really wasn't so supportive, and I don't think I've taken this new one for granted At All. I'm not very great at interacting with them regularly, usually I end up kinda sticking to a few people at a time and it's hard to beyond that. Still very thankful for them! Although, admittedly, I do wish I knew someone who was comparably passionate about fat, because like. I dunno, it sucks to have such an important personal thing that you don't really see reflected in any of your friends. They're supportive about me expressing myself in that way, and it's not like it's tacit support where they let it happen but never really engage with it, it's an active part of me and they treat it as such in a nice, affirming way. But it's not the same as having someone who feels the same! And that kinda sucks >w> but still outside of that (and poor availability which means I often can't talk to them as much as I want) I'm very thankful for my gay little friends c:
  6. Not lots to say on this either. Got to speedrun my favourite game, La-Mulana Remake, in a marathon. And I'm very happy with how the commentary came out! I was a tad underprepared for my liking going into the run, but then a staff member offered getting someone in for commentary, and despite being worried about it making things awkward because of bad chemistry or whatever else I just decided whatever, why not try. And it improved the commentary a lot from what it would've been, I think! There aren't 'real' archives of the runs just yet but for now here's a timestamp to the run in the full VOD if you're interested in that o,o

So ye that's my little. list. I saw this post pretty early in June and thought it'd be appropriate to wait until Pride Month was over to actually write anything, since otherwise I might have come back a billion times with new additions and that may have been annoying or something. not that that really ended up happening, but... still. Things are pretty Shit Awful for me in lots of ways but I do try to appreciate the relatively few good things I do have,,

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