Whenever holiday comes, I find my individualistic side to overwhelm my wants to be together, from family to friends.
I don't know if this is because I'm extremely tired of my parents caring so much about holidays, from pulling out the fanciest dishes they've got just to use it for one time, wearing sweaters and criticizing me for sticking with years old shirt and a hoodie jacket, and force 'family talk' which is about checking my obedience towards them.
I don't think this is the only cause, but I remember spending Christmas all by myself back when I studied abroad in 2018. I did make phone calls but mostly I just listened to bunch of music, took photos of Christmas decos around the dorm, and just relax on my office chair. And it was one of the most comfortable experiences I had in my life.
It's not that I straight up hate my parents or would be alone at any time, just that I like holidays more when I can deal with less things instead of having more. And it's stressing that I can't think of ways to tell my feelings to others (who influence my holiday experiences) to understand me.
Thank you to Noel Belmonte(@NoelBWrites) for the prompts!