Cohost.Forever
thinking about this post more and I think the real answer to "are you bedrotting or are you just tired and resting" is sometimes I'm doing one and sometimes I'm doing the other
"don't frame your behaviors as internal disorder when they're actually unmet needs" is a good central thesis but I want to add on that sometimes the unmet need is to shamelessly lean into the behavior that gives you short term solace, and sometimes it's not
The trouble is that humans like stigmatizing behavior they dont like or respect unhealthy behavior they recognize in others or themselves.
we (people in general) are too good at calling each other out and suck too much at the necessary follow-up that should happen after a (necessary) call-out. because that's the part that is personal and requires actual effort.
i think part of a real sense of community is when the follow-up happens even when don't know each other well. then it becomes "we look out for each other." that. that's the part everyone deserves to have. then we're not so worried about compressing everything we feel into a tweetable sentence. we're just out here for each other.
Are you depressed or are you reacting naturally to the conditions of capitalism?
tbh I get uncomfortable with this one because it often feels like an argument against acknowledging/treating depression
Thesis: Depression is a real illness and should be treated and supported as such.
Antithesis: Depression is or can be a product of social conditions.
Synthesis: Social conditions can create or exacerbate real illnesses that need to be treated and supported as such, including by resolving the social conditions.
it sounds to me like part of the treatment plan for depression then is to overthrow the existing economic order
If industrial pollution gives you asthma, you need an inhaler AND we need to regulate the factory.
think of it as giving myself permission just to feel bad about stuff that is bad, and why i still sing despite my cage
There are many, many people who are convinced that life should be like an instagram reel and the more deviations you have from such an idealized existence the worse of a human being you are. Also this predates instagram by centuries.
I mean.... it can def be an and rather than an or.
Sometimes, there's things that can both be recognized as the latter, but still be done in a way like the former, i.e. identifiably hurting yourself or your your relationship to others.
Yeah, there's misuse of terms -- there always is. I can't help but always go, "i mean yes, but pls don't go to the other extreme either, remind yourself not to, pls"
“do not process together, time is money and we’re all poor”
I needed to hear the "Are you spiralling?" part in particular, thank you.
or is your reality uncomfortable for people and they're making it your fault for making them notice it
This... this is powerfully pointy.
Do you have ADHD (and/)or do you have historically massively unprecedented demands on your personal and professional scheduling and task tracking abilities? Why don't you just run your entire life like a maximally efficient business???
look I am adhd as hell but maybe, just maybe, if Less Capitalism, God Please Just A Little Less, I wouldn't feel the impact this hard and might not even need the meds.
I feel this so much as someone who doesn’t have adhd (stimulation isn’t my issue) but still have asd and a bunch of similar symptoms and constantly have friends be quite dismissive of mine and other issues and treat everything they deal with as exclusively because of their diagnosis, and it’s just like, my dude we live in the same world, how you cope with things is not as unique as you think, so maybe help us with all this structural stuff?
sitting with this post helped me through a rough morning and made me realize some shit. thank you for sharing this (i mean this sincerely!)
Agree... and sometimes it's unfortunately hard to tell the difference, in myself or others. Should I encourage [myself/my unhappy family member] to take a nap or to go out and do something energizing? To process the sad thoughts or to find something cheering to focus on instead? Often one of these answers is much more helpful than the other; often it's not clear which is the helpful one.
honestly even when it's a purely physical problem, "is this the kind of pain that you stretch or the kind of pain that you rest" is still goddamn hard to figure out
Currently rehabbing some stuff postpartum, and FRIGGIN YES "do I need to ease off or work it harder" is a question I ask like twenty times a day.
