Ugh, basically got confirmation that the most recent spike in Feelings event stems partly from my old posting habits elsewhere. I was a bad fit for a place, alongside general issues with my lack of social skills, and it created a big mess for people who did not deserve it, even after they gave me a chance and were patient with me during a whole other thing (this is not me venting at people, I was very much the issue).
I just need to stick to my usual weird corners again because I'm being reminded why I left a lot of my old haunts - I just do not fit and it becomes a problem for all parties involved. I am so sick of my weird brain and my weird emotions, and I'm so sick of The Past still causing problems for me.
All I can do is just keep trying, I guess, and know when to stay in my lane and not make myself a problem for everyone else.
My body decided to prank me. Had trouble getting to sleep, thought it may be because of The Emotions - but no, it's just reacting messy to a burger I ordered for dinner. Kind of nice to just get a reminder from yourself that it's not always just one thing. I'm gonna watch some philosophy videos and try going to sleep that way.
