i'm not very good at gift giving. i don't know how to express my love with props. i have met the people who do. they see an item for sale and, with clairvoyant precision, know who it should belong to. i most often have to ask, and that makes me feel like i'm just doing somebody else's shopping.
i'm also not good at gift receiving. when i tell people this they get confused about how someone could be bad at receiving gifts. i guess it takes a truly autistic person to rob someone else of the joy of gift giving by accident. i express all of my feelings, including sincere gratitude, with very subdued mannerisms. even if i receive a gift that makes me feel genuinely touched, being outwards about that is a performance. and hitting all the right notes is how a gift recipient reciprocates in the gesture of gifting.
i bought board games for my parents for christmas. "decrypto" and "azul". i figured one would be good for the week before christmas when the family is gathered, and one will be good for a quiet christmas day, when it's just me and my parents. in a way i do think this is a good gift, because i at least know my parents' taste in board games, so i can at least say i thought of them. and also because giving someone a board game hints the intention of spending time with them, which is something i am much better at than gifting.
the point of this post though is that, if you also struggle with compulsory gifting, this year i went to craft mom youtube. so at minimum, i am now absolutely cracked at gift wrapping. that's my hint!
