So, I had a non-cohost friend ask me, just today, via Discord, how "trans stuff" was going in my life. They were being very gentle with it because, traditionally, I'm not super willing to talk about it. Why? Well, generally because, IRL, I'm having to brace for the judgmental looks of my conservative family or my mid-western, small town, co-workers. It's scary.
As a result of my general nervousness, my friend doesn't often ask (something I feel kinda bad about at this point, they've been nothing but supportive as long as I've known them). In fact, I think it's been about six or seven months since they last asked...
A lot of things have happened in that time period.
It all started with a friend I made in another context that I won't really get into here, but she was the first one who really normalized me talking about trans stuff without hesitation...at least with her. (She's also the one who suggested joining cohost ๐.)
Being able to openly talk with one person is great, but it never really solves the problem of feeling like you will be accepted for talking about being trans in a social space. In fact, In many ways normalizing only talking with "that one friend" about it can make it worse because it reenforces the idea that you can only talk about "this thing" in certain contexts.
That's where cohost has come in.
This may surprise you, but I've actually never had a friend who is trans before ๐. There's probably some interesting psychological reason for this but, eh. I should have tried it sooner. Now I've got about a half dozen it seems and it's really, really, REALLY helped me to normalize talking about trans stuff in a social space.
Like I'm doing right now!!! ๐
It's become so normal that I generally talk about trans stuff, in some regard, every day now. So normal that I've started being able to talk about it at work (which has been a challenge, but I'm surviving it!) So normal, in fact, that I felt like I could start writing songs about it. Which, honestly, was a touch crazy because I hadn't written songs with lyrics AT ALL for about a decade. Why? I wanted to write about myself, but I just didn't feel I could! Now I can!! It's like I've gotten my voice back!!!
I'm extremely grateful to cohost in general for this and the friends I've made in particular. God knows why they put up with me, but I love it!
So, going back to my afore mentioned non-cohost friend (whom I prolly should just drag on here), they were probably expecting a tepid response... hopefully the short novel I sent doesn't overwhelm them ๐
