Jaelights

Slooping dupes over here

Succinct transbien musician behind Lorelei and the Ghost.
Bring me your finest Yuris!





Music Links:
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@Jaelights
SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/jaelights
BandCamp:
https://jaelights.bandcamp.com/



Writing:
https://www.wattpad.com/user/Jaelights



Business Email if you want music:
loreleiandtheghost@gmail.com



Profile Pic by @nomnomnami


So, I had a non-cohost friend ask me, just today, via Discord, how "trans stuff" was going in my life. They were being very gentle with it because, traditionally, I'm not super willing to talk about it. Why? Well, generally because, IRL, I'm having to brace for the judgmental looks of my conservative family or my mid-western, small town, co-workers. It's scary.

As a result of my general nervousness, my friend doesn't often ask (something I feel kinda bad about at this point, they've been nothing but supportive as long as I've known them). In fact, I think it's been about six or seven months since they last asked...

A lot of things have happened in that time period.

It all started with a friend I made in another context that I won't really get into here, but she was the first one who really normalized me talking about trans stuff without hesitation...at least with her. (She's also the one who suggested joining cohost ๐Ÿ˜‰.)

Being able to openly talk with one person is great, but it never really solves the problem of feeling like you will be accepted for talking about being trans in a social space. In fact, In many ways normalizing only talking with "that one friend" about it can make it worse because it reenforces the idea that you can only talk about "this thing" in certain contexts.

That's where cohost has come in.

This may surprise you, but I've actually never had a friend who is trans before ๐Ÿ˜‚. There's probably some interesting psychological reason for this but, eh. I should have tried it sooner. Now I've got about a half dozen it seems and it's really, really, REALLY helped me to normalize talking about trans stuff in a social space.

Like I'm doing right now!!! ๐Ÿ˜

It's become so normal that I generally talk about trans stuff, in some regard, every day now. So normal that I've started being able to talk about it at work (which has been a challenge, but I'm surviving it!) So normal, in fact, that I felt like I could start writing songs about it. Which, honestly, was a touch crazy because I hadn't written songs with lyrics AT ALL for about a decade. Why? I wanted to write about myself, but I just didn't feel I could! Now I can!! It's like I've gotten my voice back!!!

I'm extremely grateful to cohost in general for this and the friends I've made in particular. God knows why they put up with me, but I love it!

So, going back to my afore mentioned non-cohost friend (whom I prolly should just drag on here), they were probably expecting a tepid response... hopefully the short novel I sent doesn't overwhelm them ๐Ÿ˜‚


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in reply to @Jaelights's post:

having people you can talk to comfortably about this stuff makes a world of difference! meeting up with local trans folks the first time meant a ton to me, and during COVID I realized just much I was missing it. I'm glad it's been such a good change for you <3

Thanks Lily! Itโ€™s definitely been a huge positive! Itโ€™s interesting being in this space in general, ya know? I donโ€™t interact with everyone all the time, but even just looking at other trans creators work has been hugely inspirationally to me. Even if they think theyโ€™ll never be as good a designer as the fine folk who make Guilty Gear ;)

As someone who joined Cohost with similar-ish intent, I'm really, really happy for you!

Everyone should be able to be themselves/ express themselves how they wish; Cohost giving a little push with that is exactly what it should be for.

Exactly! Itโ€™s been a really good place to kind of center myself. I know there have been a lot of criticisms of social media as some sort of escape, but I tend to view it more as a safe haven. I know I have to go back out there, but itโ€™s nice to have this place here to check back in with when I need my sanity restored :D