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andrepc
@andrepc

Hey everybody, sorry for posting this. Remember when I said I needed money last month? I did managed to get a little help from my in-laws, plus ANOTHER loan, and paid a few bills with my credit card (which sucks so much, the interests are super high). But I really need help this time. I've been thinking if I should do this post or not, for weeks. I feel super ashamed on doing this, but at least I gotta try.

I already commented with @R-Z-L, and with his encouragement, I decided once for all to ask for your help. So I will just copy my response and edit a bit. But before that, just let me give some context (sorry, the whole thing will be super long, please bear with it).

TL;DR: I am royally fucked with debts. Please, if you can, donate me some money at my paypal: drakulakun@gmail.com. Any help is super appreciated, even sharing this helps. Thank you so much and God bless you all.


I have $20 thousand dollars in debt. This happened over a year and a half, or rather, this has being going since my wife was diagnosed with Leukemia in 2021. She was stuck with treatment in the hospital over the course of 9 months, which the healthcare plan only covered half of it. She also almost died, and was in a coma for 3 days or so. After she recovered, she still had to do checkups and then the healthcare company simply cancelled our plan — because they are a bunch of assholes (fuck you Unimed).

We had to sue, and after they won, they got even more greedy, wanted to screw us more, and then lost the whole thing on court (lol get fucked). Then the issue was over (just now in fact) and we got reinstated. But the settlement money was really low and we used it to pay the lawyer and will use in our rent this month.

Meanwhile, both my dogs got sick, and one of them had to be operated for her leg, while I was just recovering from terrible back pains, that still happens from time to time, due to myself not being fit and being stuck on the chair 8 to 12 hours a day, sometimes even more. Then my dad, which was helping my brother with his retirement, died of Covid. Now I am the one who pays my brother's bills and grocery. My wife got diagnosed with a heavy depression after having cancer, and even tried to kill herself. I also have an undiagnosed depression, but I simply don't have money for treatment (and the healthcare plan doesn't cover). Plus lots of other health problems.

Due to our depression, we started spending money with frivolous things because it was our "kick". Plus, I bought a new cellphone as my old one was dying, 2 months before I lost two of my jobs that was helping us a lot (I had 3, from the same company, and now I only have one). Then as I explain later, my wife also got her salary reduced. She was going to make a company with her father, but cancer kicked right after they opened, so it without her help which was crucial, the company bankrupted. Since she is my father-in-law's other company' associate, she gets a salary while she helps with his company (because my in-law convinced her to resign from her old job to create that company that eventually bankrupted, sigh...). But now they are also having financial problems, and she was the first to get the axe on the paychecks.

I got food poisoning, and then our dogs got sick again, real badly. They had to be admitted to a vet hospital, and that was expensive as fuck. They are fine now, but I couldn't even finish their treatment because I got no money left. Plus, our rent raised high again, and that was too much.

Well, this is how things, kinda, ended this way. So here is the reply I left, with some edits. Sorry, again, this is really long.


Things here haven't improved unfortunately. The only thing that helped is that I haven't lost my job (which I thought I did, there was no communication with my employer for 20 days and I was very worried, but we sorted it out). The thing is that my wife was getting $1200, but now she got a huge cut and she's only getting $350 a month. She opened an online paper store last May to help (and because it was her dream to do so), but we ran out of money and now she will have to close if we can't get funds. She is super depressed because of it (we both are). :(

I still need total total of $20k to pay my debts, at least I wish I could get half of it this month and the other half the next. Or at least $7k, or heck even $2k would be great already. But the longer it takes, the worse it gets.

In fact, if I don't get this money I will have to return this apartment and live with my in-laws. I love them, they are great, but living in their home will be a fucking nightmare for my wife, my dogs (which hates other animals, and my in-laws also have two) and me. Plus we will have to get rid/store of ton of furniture, utensils, electronics etc. We don't want to do that. It took almost 4 years saving for us to buy everything and live where we live. Then it took a couple year to lose everything...[1]

Well, it's either that or going back to where I used to live. But I love living here though. It's safe, everything we need is near and the neighbors are super nice. If I have to go back living in poverty, fearing for my life every single day, with constant noise and robbery, I would rather off myself.

I tried finding a second job. But I have a lot of health issues so I have to work from home. Plus, since I've been working on a low effort job, all my skills rusted, and the requirements for the jobs are through the roof... for a very low pay. I also tried selling some stuff, but the few I managed to sell didn't pay much.

The thing that also worries me is that even if I do pay all the debts, I still need to get better paid. At least $3k and a half a month. Covid really fucked my rent. Plus my wife getting her cut and me losing my second (and third) job royally screwed us over. But at least, getting those debts paid would help us breath and think of doing something else, anything to helps us out. But having this huge debt is like being slowly strangled. No air to breath, slowly dying, with no strength to fight back.

So yeah, things look very grim right now. I am getting more sick, lost ton of weight (around 15 pounds in less than a month (I guess... it's 7kg)) and I can't sleep well. I need to have a proper talk with my wife[1], and then my brother, which I also help with money, since he is 60 y/o with no job (for over 25 years) and tons of mental health issues. My dad was helping him, but he passed away two years and a half ago due to Covid.

If only I could convince 20 thousand people to give me a dollar, lmao.

Yeah, I am really afraid of tomorrow.

[1] After pondering over what I wrote that day, I talked with my wife and we decided to not leave the apartment. I guess I will just ignore my debts and focus in paying my rent and utilities, plus try to raise some money.


So that's where I am now. I actually need $1200 this month: $800 to pay part of my bills and grocery this week, and $400 to pay my wife bills next week. But really, I wish I could somehow get the $20k I owe.

But I take any help I can. My paypal is drakulakun@gmail.com. I guess just that is enough right? Let me know if I need to do anything else. Unfortunately, I can't create a gofundme page, they don't work in Brazil. So I hope that the paypal email is enough1.

Thank you so much and again, and sorry for the long post and for asking for this, for burdening you all. I am aware the situation is tough for a lot of people, and there are tons of other people in a way worse situation then mine. But I got desperate. I tried everything I could think of and this is my last recourse for an immediate help, while I keep searching for other ways to make money.


  1. Sorry about that, paypal.me is not available in my country. So I think you need to send the money from your paypal account or something? Again, let me know if there is an alternative, better solution.


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in reply to @andrepc's post:

I'm speaking from a UK perspective here so, probably some big differences BUT

There will be a debt charity. Google them - ring them. They give good free advice. Some will even act on your behalf for FREE. Don't use any which ask for money. You want a debt charity. CHARITY. Not a charged for service. This is the first thing you should do. As in - go do it now.

$20k isn't going to go away via goodwill of others and while focusing on rent etc may keep the landlord away, defaulting on loan/card payments may lead to people knocking on your door and taking your stuff away (make sure they actually have a court order etc before letting them in). And late charges can add up fast.

Most loan and credit companies have "breathing" clauses which will let you pause payments (and more importantly interest) for 60 days. Ring whomever you owe money to. Listen to the T&C's carefully as you want a pause of payments and not something like a skip and pay 2 lots next time.

Some may even agree to interest only payments for a few months or lowering the payment amount but extending the loan time/changing interest rates. Yes, you'll be paying more money in the long run but it'll make it more manageable. You can also change it in the future when you can pay more.

Ringing people is terrifying - but as the people you owe money to would rather get money than you declaring yourself legally bankrupt (and thus getting no money) you'll be surprised of your options.

Stop buying stuff. You've recently got a new phone. Bad purchase. I've read people who don't have enough money for rent and have gone out and brought Steam Decks. Don't.

Saving money has all the same traps as a diet. You be good for months, need to cheer yourself up and "treat yourself" and end up resetting your hard work in one go. Or you "need" something to take your mind off it and spend money on that.

No.

Your hobbies are now walking, playing free games and your treats are games at 90% off sales.

And, if your relationship with your parent(s) (or your wife with hers) is very very good - SPEAK TO THEM. If they own their property (aka have a mortgage) they could release equity from it by remortgaging. Using that to pay off your debts and then you paying whatever the difference/increase to their mortgage is. Obviously this is risky to your parents and only even worth considering when you can 100% commit to paying. As her family business has gone bankrupt - this is probably going to be on your side. Just keep your wife in the loop at all times.

When my last relationship ended, and I was paying the full rent for our old place, spending money being depressed etc etc I was about in £13k in debt. It's amazing how easy it is the get in debt.

It's terrifying. I know it's terrifying.

Make a money plan. Monzo is great as you can set pots up for bills etc and it makes things a hell of a lot easier to keep track of. Don't change banks before taking advice though. In fact don't do any of this before making thay initial phone call to a free debt charity. But ask these questions. Also ask about bankruptcy. I don't know the rules around it in the US, but as scarey of an option it may seem - it is an option.

Thank you for your reply. Yeah, like RLZ said, I am in Brazil. There is no "debt charity" here. There was a program from the govern that helps people get rid of debts, but it ended already and it was aimed at real low income families (people earning minimum wage or less).

...defaulting on loan/card payments may lead to people knocking on your door and taking your stuff away (make sure they actually have a court order etc before letting them in). And late charges can add up fast.

I have nothing on my name though. It's not my first time having debts unpaid. 14 years ago I lost 2 jobs while finishing (paid) college, and couldn't find a work for almost 6 years, while doing freelancing work that paid terribly (I swear I will never work in webdesign ever again, it's not worth). That made accumulate some debts on my back which, to this day, I haven't paid.

Back then I was living with my dad and brother though, so there was no worry of rent and my dad was helping me (though I did have to skip lunch sometimes, so they could eat).

Anyway, I don't plan on not paying my credit card. I am reducing my expenses a lot so this won't happen. It's the loan debts that I simply can't pay right now.

Stop buying stuff. You've recently got a new phone. Bad purchase. I've read people who don't have enough money for rent and have gone out and brought Steam Decks. Don't.

My phone was a purchase I made before losing 2 of my jobs. I had to though because my previous one was 6 years old already and failing me. Plus, I use (used, before losing said jobs) my phone for work. But losing the jobs and having medical expenses screwed me over. And well, the depression.

And I know it was an example, but I can't even legally buy a Steam Deck unless I fly to the US, lmao. Valve doesn't sell one here, and they would be crazy expensive nonetheless. But I am not spending money on anything that expensive...

Your hobbies are now walking, playing free games and your treats are games at 90% off sales.

Kinda mentioned that too, when I said I am playing "mobile games". I meant those free gacha ones. I ain't touching even the 90% sales lol. I am that unenthusiastic.

*And, if your relationship with your parent(s) (or your wife with hers) is very very good - SPEAK TO THEM. *

My parents are dead. Mentioned in the post that my dad passed away due to Covid in 2022, which is why now I have to take care of my brother's expenses. And my in-laws already helped what they could (mentioned that too).

All your other advices you gave I already tried and/or will try again (like speaking with the bank). You see, this is a post that I wrote because everything else failed and I am that desperate and out of options. Otherwise I wouldn't have wrote it. Lord knows how much time I wasted going back and forth with writing this. I don't want to burden everybody else here, and I know how hard a lot of other people are going through. This was my desperate attempt of gathering some funds to help me out.

But anyway, thank you for your thoughts and advice.