just a selkie in the sea

(I also go by Liz)

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in reply to @JhoiraArtificer's post:

I'll second https://morethanone.info - the nice thing about it is that it links out to a bunch of other resources for readers who want to delve deeper!

For a slightly more formal resource, Manchester University has a pamphlet called Understanding Multiplicity. (It's a PDF, so it downloads on mobile.)

You likely know this already (hence your request for nonjudgemental resources) but there are a lot of awful places out there that insist plurality can only be this way or that. Even some otherwise inclusive resources can come across as implying that every headmate has a Role, that every system has an Origin, that this and that needs a label... when really, all of those are arbitrary. This is probably a warning worth passing on to said mentee, along with encouragement to just explore and be with their experiences as they are, without trying to impose any expectations about how they "should" work.

Lol, this is like finding out about the Internal Family Systems model and every part getting individually offended by their reductionist classification system. We spent the rest of the day roasting each other about it too, like "omg, that was such a ~Manager~ move" "Silence, E X I L E"

It's funny because a lot of their applied stuff about like, how internal politics tend to unfold and tips for getting the ball rolling on healthy communication were surprisingly insightful (especially for a psychotheraputic framing, and one that doesn't believe parts are, ya know, real) but they're starting from the assumption that if any internal divisions exist, then it MUST be a response to the internal fallout of processing a traumatic memory, and that dooms the rest of their theoretical-side cosmology to be nonsense.

It does seem like people are out there being every which way that one or many can be. We've had a theory for a while that the plural label now is a lot like what the queer label used to be, in a more hostile climate. We assort with each other less because we feel we are actually meaningfully similar to each other and more because we are dealing with the same stigmatization, and made similar by our external experiences. It would be fascinating to see what other, more identity-ish labels might flourish in less judgemental-feeling air. We hope we live to see it.

https://pluralrespect.neocities.org/ is a resource that lists itself as sort of a "place to go after seeing https://morethanone.info/ ".

Plural Respect gets into the topic of sysmedicalism, too, but I want to make a comment on it myself.

I personally compare being plural to being queer, in the sense that in the end it's about finding a way to define your identity in a way that makes sense to you, it works out for everyone at least a little bit differently, and there's not really a wrong way to do it (unless it involves dictating or gatekeeping other people).

As an extension of that, I see sysmedicalism as comparable to transmedicalism. Just as transmedicalism indicates that you're not really transgender unless you fit the medical definition of it (gender dysphoria, undergoing medical treatments, etc.), sysmedicalism indicates that you're not really plural unless you're diagnosed with DID (dissociative identity disorder) as following certain guidelines.

While there are some trans people who see a medical diagnosis as central to their identity, and there are systems who see DID as central to their identity, it is my firm belief that seeing medical diagnoses as fundamental to everyone's identity is reductionist and harmful. In addition to giving control of the definition of "trans" and "plural" to people who are largely not either of these things, it also defines these experiences fundamentally on trauma, when there are so many things that are cool and fun about being trans or plural, and serve as better guidelines for exploring oneself and coming to clearer pictures about who you are, who you want to be, and who you can be.

So if I were going to give a short message to anyone realizing they're plural, I do think the resources are a good idea, but my first message to them would be this: Don't worry about the doctors. Listen to other plural people, and listen to yourself. Those two things should take priority.