So like, I have been thinking about my kin feelings towards being a Riolu and how many memories I have that I'm surprised at myself for for not having evaluated earlier, but now that I am, and based on what I am feeling in the present, it makes a lot of sense.
I remember actually crying some nights back when I was a kid because I wished I could turn into a Riolu overnight, and I felt if I kept wishing hard enough, it might happen. I'd constantly look at my own hand in the darkness of my bedroom. Occasionally, if my brain was a little sleep-addled and my vision a little blurry, I would see paws, and my brain would fire up something to match what I saw to what I felt. Fleeting moments of panic, and also excitement, and euphoria, followed by disappointment.
And then I remembered how much I would just use Lucario and Riolu as my avatar everywhere on every phpbb forum I went to. Obviously being autistic also influenced that because I special interested in them hard, and faced teasing and bullying for being weird.
And then I also remember how I obsessed over the Lucario movie, and the Riolu episode, and then PMD EoS came out, and while I didn't have a DS, I wanted to emulate it immediately because I knew it has a Riolu in it. I would just cheat the answers to get a Riolu ofc. And I remembered how much that gave me...weird emotional feelings, being a pokemon in that game, escaping, and like, it made me feel even more the wish I could have something other than my human body.
Embarrasingly, I remembered I wrote a letter and hid it under my pillow in case what happened in PMD ever happened to me, and I'd disappear into the pokemon world as a Riolu. Honestly, it was a bit weird, but it makes sense now.
Basically it's just weird how I've had these memories, and I've been an otherkin for literally 10 years and I haven't even realised that being a Riolu could just be, like, my kintype.
