Emmet ended up not helping you with paper Ho-Ohs anymore after making one. You ended up not asking why. You knew for sure he guessed why you were determined to get a wish granted, and you also knew that he understood that joint effort would have brought the results faster. Keeping that in mind, you guessed that the reason he ended up not helping you was because he didn’t think this was an activity that would bring results either way. And the logical part of you knew that it was a fair decision. That it was true. But a deep part of you refused to believe that, so you continued to fold the paper Pokemon alone, trying very hard not to think about the possibility that Emmet didn’t see what you were doing as something useful.
The origami piece Emmet did make though, you ended up keeping on your desk, instead of putting it into the pile with the other ones. It rested on your desk, so you could see it while you fold the other Ho-Ohs. Despite it being the only one Emmet made, seeing it brought you comfort and helped you keep going towards your goal.
Something else began to concern you though. You were already worried about Emmet before, because he started spending so much time at work, but you didn’t question it before. You gathered he used work as a way to distract himself, and you couldn’t blame him for it. But after the day you showed him the paper Ho-Ohs you were making, it all somehow became even worse.
The work days were the same as before at first. Emmet would leave for work at an ungodly hour, then come home insanely late. A few times you couldn’t even stay awake long enough to greet him back. You’d wake up for a few seconds when he would crawl into the bed with you, enough to cuddle him properly, and then immediately fall back asleep. You wondered how Emmet even endured a schedule like that.
As if work days weren’t bad enough already, the days off suddenly got worse too. The day off when you showed Emmet the paper Ho-Ohs you’re folding, and he went to his room, he began to spend much more time there, alone. At first you didn’t question it much. When you took a peek onto his room and saw him doing something on his laptop with a concentrated look, you assumed he was working on something important and decided not to distract him.
When he didn’t come out of the bedroom by dinner, you began to worry again. He was already working so much, now he was working even on his day off. You went into the bedroom again and opened the door slowly, looking in. Emmet was still at his laptop, facing away from you, in the same position as he was when you left him several hours ago. You sighed quietly at the sight. Carefully, you walked inside, approaching your partner’s desk. He didn’t even notice you come in or get close, he was that focused on the work. He only noticed you when you stood right by his desk. The moment you entered the view in the back of his eye, he jumped in his seat, startled by your very not-so-subtle appearance.
You smiled a bit it Emmet’s startled expression. But just a few seconds later, you gave him a slightly stern look, so there’s less chance that he tries to argue with you.
“Emmet, you’ve been sitting here for hours. You should take a break. I made lunch, you should eat!”
Emmet blinked at you, as if he wasn’t completely there and it was taking him a moment to return to reality. Was he so deep in his work that he forgot where he was, for a moment? A few seconds later, he seemed to return to reality.
“Yes… I should. You’re right”.
You smiled as you watched Emmet get up from his desk, happy that he listened to you without arguing after all. As he stood up, his legs shook for a short moment and he needed a second to find his balance. Thankfully, he seemed to be okay and simply spent too much time sitting in the same position.
After lunch though, Emmet went back to his bedroom and just resumed working at his laptop. You ended up not really saying anything that day. You didn’t exactly like that he spent practically his whole day off cooped up in his room, working instead of resting or spending time with you. But you decided not to intrude. If he was working on something on the day he was supposed to be resting, it must have been something important. His Joltiks kept you company instead and didn’t let you be alone.
You smiled at the tiny fuzzy Pokemon who was resting on a small pillow on your desk. The tiny darling chirped and snuggled your hand as you pet it and scratched its chin. Once little Sitrus was satisfied with the attention he’s gotten for the time being, he settled on his pillow nest again, and you turned your attention back to the stack of square papers in front of you. Going between folding the paper Ho-Ohs to spoiling one of Emmet’s Joltiks, who’s gotten particularly attached to you, to the point of getting his own assigned resting spot on your desk, really helped you relax and spend the evening in peace. Otherwise, folding wouldn’t have been enough to help you keep calm that day.
Hours later, you sighed in satisfaction and slight exhaustion. You stretched your back without getting up from the chair. A glance at the time made you realize it was already very late, and that you spent several hours without getting up from the desk. You needed to finish up for the day and get ready for bed. You got another empty shoebox and stored another hundred of the origami bird Pokemon you finished up today. Now you had two hundred out of a thousand. You really folded a lot today and made considerable progress.
Once the finished Ho-Ohs were tucked away safely in your closet, you took snoozing Sitrus from your desk and came out of your bedroom, carrying the Joltik in your palm. Peeking out of the doorframe, you noticed something you weren’t really expecting. The apartment was quiet and looked empty. Besides the light no longer coming from the windows and lighting up the rooms, since it was no longer daytime, it all looked the same as you left it before you got back to folding Ho-Ohs.
Where was Emmet? Did he leave somewhere? Or… You went up close to his bedroom door and turned the doorknob softly, slowly pushing the door in. The bedroom was also dark, and for a moment you thought that maybe it was also empty, before you noticed the light that was coming from Emmet’s desk lamp. And then you also noticed that he was, indeed, in the room, still at his desk… in front of his laptop. Has he been sitting there the whole day?
You quietly walked into the room, your feet making barely audible thuds, Sitrus still held up in one of your hands. Just like last time, Emmet didn’t react to your entrance at all, as if he didn’t even notice it. Only the soft clicking of the computer mouse and an occasional sound of the scroll wheel being used could be heard in the dimply lit room.
Emmet didn’t react to you even when you were standing right beside him. In the cold light of the laptop screen, you could see that his gaze was completely focused on it, and whatever it was his mind was occupied with. You tapped his shoulder gently, and Emmet jumped with a quiet yelp. You would have found it funny, if you weren’t so concerned about your partner.
“Emmet, are you still working? Have you been sitting here the whole day?”
Emmet relaxed after his initial scare and exhaled through his mouth. He leaned back in his chair and stretched. “Nope. Since noon. And we had lunch together”.
You rolled your eyes, “That’s just technicalities. Have you even left your room since you came back here after lunch?”
Emmet didn’t respond for a bit, and that was enough of an answer for you, along with an empty plate with bread crumbs on the edge of the desk, which you assumed was a sign that he at least had a sandwich for dinner.
“I am Emmet. I had dinner. And I gave dinner to our teams”.
That was slightly relieving to hear. That still implied that Emmet spent practically the whole day off cooped up in his bedroom in front of a computer, when he was supposed to be resting and having fun. But at least he didn’t neglect himself or his Pokemon completely…
You shook your head with a sigh. “Right. Well. It’s late, and you’ve been sitting in front of a screen enough for the day”.
Before Emmet even had the chance to argue with you, you held the Joltik in your palm up to his face, and looked at your partner with a pouty expression. “See? Sitrus wants you to come to bed. And I do too. We miss you. I want cuddles”.
The double dose of Growlithe eyes from you and the tiny Pokemon left Emmet unable to refuse. You could tell that by how his eyes softened and his smile grew, as he pretended to not be affected and look away. He wasn’t fooling anyone though, you knew you already won.
He sighed after a few seconds of pretending unsuccessfully. “You’re right. Let’s get to bed”.
You smiled as Emmet closed his laptop and stretched in his chair again. He closed it quickly, so you didn’t quite see what it was that he was working on for so long, on his day off no less, but at that moment you didn’t care that much. Emmet was coming to bed with you, and you were happy.
Emmet’s day off was over, and the two of you went back to the same routine you’ve adapted for the last month of so. He would spend most of his day at work. You would be busy with your own responsibilities, then wait for Emmet to come home at an hour you should probably be asleep already.
At that point, the only times you and Emmet would spend time together would be at night, when the two of you slept together. Before that one day off, at least you could also spend some time together when he had his lunch breaks. You would visit hm at work, and either you would bring him homemade lunch and the two of you would eat together in his office, or you would go out to a café. Either way, it was like a small island of comfort for the longest time, especially since Ingo’s disappearance. That one constant that both of you were looking forward to, along with him coming home at night.
Since that day though, those visits became… different. If you were bringing your own food, the two of you would stay in the office as usual. But Emmet would get distracted constantly with what you assumed was work on his computer. If the two of you went out, Emmet would urge you to hurry back to the subway once you got your orders. Usually you would have eaten at the café in that case, so Emmet could unwind outside and get some fresh air. But now, you would end up going back to his office, and he would be mostly focused on working on his computer again. At first you tried to stay understanding – you knew Emmet had a lot of work to deal with before too, and the workload doubled since Ingo’s disappearance. But the more Emmet was doing that, the more discouraged you were starting to feel. What was the point of you staying over for lunch if Emmet essentially acted like you weren’t even there? But each time such thoughts visited you, you tried to bury them deep and ended up never saying anything. Emmet is overworked and has many responsibilities on his shoulders, more so now. Demanding that he pays attention to you would be selfish. That’s what you kept telling yourself, so you suffered in silence.
Doing so would only worsen your emotional state though. In a way, you almost felt like you came back to square one. The same state you were in before you and Emmet shared a cry in Ingo’s bedroom. You, once again, felt like you couldn’t talk to him and tell him how you’re feeling, just for a slightly different reason now. It used to be that you couldn’t find the right words to voice what you felt that wouldn’t just be empty words. Now you felt like you didn’t have the moral right to speak up and push your selfish feelings onto your partner, who’s already overwhelmed with everything.
As your stress grew once again, you kept relying on folding the paper Ho-Ohs for managing it. In the three weeks after Emmet began to distance himself, you ended up folding another three hundred origami Pokemon, which sat you at five hundred done in total, and halfway towards your final goal. You would have been happy about that, if only you weren’t so worried about Emmet’s state.
He’s been looking tired since Ingo disappeared. But in the last three weeks, he’s been getting worse. He had dark circles before already, and his smile was tired almost all the time. Now, the bags under his eyes got worse, and they didn’t seem to be going anywhere, probably because of how he was managing his time for bed. If before Emmet tried to at least somewhat smile, even though it didn’t always reach his eyes and looked slightly forced, now he barely even tried anymore. Whenever you saw him, his face reminded you more of Ingo than himself, his usual smile nowhere to be seen. Whenever he did try to smile, when you were nearby to see it, it looked so incredibly fake, you couldn’t help but feel pain while looking at it, because it looked like trying to smile physically hurt Emmet most of the time these days.
At first Emmet’s days off became something to look forward to even more for you, because you thought that it would at least be the time you would be able to spend some quality time together, if you couldn’t do it on any other day. That was what you thought until he had his next day off.
You woke up that morning to an empty bed. For a few seconds you simply laid there, blinking sleepily and trying to get your half-asleep brain to think about where your partner could be. Usually he would still be in bed whenever you woke up, be it because he was still sleeping, or because he woke up before you and was the one to wake you up with kisses, or playful pokes. Once you were a little more awake though, you calmed down and swatted the thoughts away. Emmet could have gotten up without you for plenty different reasons, it didn’t necessarily mean anything bad.
You got up and went to find Emmet. He wasn’t in the kitchen and he wasn’t in the livingroom. Then you took a peek into his bedroom. The sight left you a bit confused. Emmet was sitting at his desk, in front of his laptop, doing something that looked vaguely like paperwork from where you were standng. It was literally the same sight you saw on his last day off. You got a very unpleasant feeling of déjà-vu.
You walked into the room quietly, and just like the times before, Emmet didn’t notice you come in or approach him from behind. The only difference in the setting was that it was morning, and the rays of sunshine were lighting the room while coming through the window, instead of Emmet’s desk lamp and laptop screen glow.
You tapped his shoulder softly. Just like all the times before, Emmet jumped slightly in his seat from getting startled. He relaxed once he saw it was you.
“Emmet? Why are you working on your day off again? And so early in the morning too…” You took a quick glance at the computer screen, before looking at your partner again. You only saw a lot of small text there, and nothing particular caught your attention.
Once Emmet recovered from the slight surprise, he looked up at you. “I am Emmet. I have a lot of work. I need to finish it all. I am working whenever I can”.
You frowned at that response. “But you’ve already been working so much since… in the last few months. And you’ve been working almost nonstop in the last week. Surely you can take a break from work on your day off. That’s what you have the day off for in the first place…”
“I am verrry busy. I need to finish all this work as soon as possible. I need to do it when I have time”.
Emmet turned back to the screen, reading whatever it was the text there was about. You frowned, really not liking his response. For many reasons. Not only did you start noticing that Emmet was practically working without rest, but the way he talked to you right now sounded… weirdly dismissive. And it wasn’t just his monotone voice that gave you that impression.
You bit your lip as you stood there, watching Emmet go back to doing whatever it was he was doing on his computer. After a few more seconds of silence, you decided to try again.
“Let’s at least go have breakfast together. I’ll make pancakes?”
“I am Emmet. I already had breakfast. All the Pokemon are fed too”.
You tired to ignore the sting in your chest as you bit your lower lip again, this time even harder. You stared at Emmet’s back in silence, only the scroll wheel breaking it from time to time. You weren’t able to find anything else to say anymore and turned around, leaving the bedroom and closing the door quietly behind you. Once you were far away enough from the bedroom door, in the kitchen, you allowed yourself to sniffle and sob drily a few times, as you made yourself breakfast.
The rest of the day off went by in the same, monotone way. Emmet remained in the bedroom for the most part. The only times you saw him was when he came out to have dinner. After he had his food, he immediately went back to his room without saying much, taking the plate with him to the bedroom. No doubt he opted to eating at his computer, without interrupting his work.
You two didn’t talk much that day. You spent most of your time in your own bedroom as well. You spent your time either folding the Ho-Ohs, watching something on your phone, or spending time with Emmet’s and Ingo’s Pokemon. Anything to get your mind off everything.
That day you tried your best to be happy with just making a lot of progress on your goal of folding a thousand Ho-Ohs. As much as you liked to see the steady progress you were making in that regard, you still went to bed with a lot of anxiety on your mind and heaviness on your heart. It didn’t help that you went to bed alone that night.
At first you thought Emmet didn’t want to sleep with you, so you ended up trying to go to bed on your own, despite the sting in your chest that was caused by the emptiness in your bed you weren’t used to. A few hours later though, when you were already asleep, you got proved wrong. You woke up briefly, when in the middle of the night you felt the mattress shift under some weight, before an arm wrapped around you and pulled you closer to the source of the disruption and warmth. A deep sigh brushed against your ear, and Emmet relaxed with you in his embrace, probably falling asleep almost immediately. Before falling back asleep, you took a quick glance at the time and saw that it was almost 2 AM. How he would even wake up tomorrow for work, you had no idea.
The situation only became progressively worse after that. Each day off since then went by in about the same manner. Emmet would spend most of his time in his room, doing the same work as before, to the point you almost stopped seeing him at all. He woke up and left before you did, and went to bed hours after you were already asleep. He still held you close in his sleep, but that didn’t make you feel any better. At that point, it almost seemed like an afterthought. You were starting to feel like nothing more than a bed warmer.
The weekdays didn’t improve either. If anything, Emmet began to come home even later somehow. Half the time, it would be so late when he came home, you wouldn’t even wake up when he finally did. The only proof that he did spend the night at home would be the Pokemon, as they were always fed breakfast each morning before you would wake up. Each time you visited him on his lunch break, he would always be glued to his computer, buried underneath the papers that seemed to be multiplying in his desk. Emmet’s physical state was getting worse the more papers there were, it seemed. His eyes looked dull and tired all the time, the dark circles under them were starting to look way worse than a result of some slight overworking, and at that point almost looked painted on with eyeliner.
For almost three weeks you opted to not saying anything, hoping that soon enough, either Emmet himself would get fed up with the ridiculous amount of work and gives himself a proper break at last, or the work will eventually run out. It had to at some point, it couldn’t be endless. This work came on suddenly and out of nowhere, so it couldn’t have been anything permanent, that Emmet would have to deal with it for the rest of his days.
But things didn’t get better for almost a month. Meanwhile, Emmet’s health seemed to be getting worse, from what you were seeing. He was exhausted all the time, and essentially stopped existing outside of his work. While you were still limiting your time on social media, you couldn’t help yourself, and after you learned about the rumors, you began to check in once in a while, to monitor the situation. The new posts, where someone speculates that you and Emmet murdered Ingo, still had an effect on you whenever you saw them, but something else was making you even more concerned. It were specifically the posts that were made by people who recently saw Emmet in real life.
They noted how Emmet has been acting weird lately. That he became even less talkative with people. That during battles he became almost scarily ruthless. He rarely ever held back in Pokemon battles before, but now it was almost like he was dumping his anger and frustration through them, to the point even more people now found him intimidating and even scary. And yes, most also noted his exhausted appearance and thick dark circles under his eyes.
Reading these posts made your heart break, knowing how people were commenting on Emmet because of these changes. But also because it always brought back to your attention how exhausted Emmet has been lately because he keeps overworking himself, and that you weren’t the only one who thought that something was wrong you might not have known about.
It was a whole month in, when your patience finally ran dry and you decided to address the situation and talk about it with Emmet. The last straw was your inability to reassure Elesa that her best friend was okay, or to explain why exactly he was behaving and looking like this.
It was the night before Emmet’s another day off. You were waiting for Emmet to come home, so you could hopefully talk with him during dinner. But that night he wasn’t coming home for a very long time again, as you should have expected, and eventually you were so tired, you couldn’t wait anymore and decided to go to bed without your partner once again. You tried to at least stay awake in bed for a bit longer, but couldn’t even last fifteen minutes.
Sometime during the night, you heard Emmet return home and come into your bedroom. You only barely woke up, enough to just hear him moving around. It also became such a routine for you at that point, so you didn’t even react to the disturbance, remaining mostly asleep. Through the sleep, you felt the bed shake a little and the mattress give under Emmet’s weight, then him lie right next to you and wrap his arm around you, clinging to you like a Komala. Once he settled, your mind began to drift back to sleep. For a while there was silence.
It was difficult to estimate time properly when you were pretty much asleep. But at some point you felt the arms around your waist squeeze you harder than usual. It wasn’t enough to make you wake up, so you barely acknowledged the sensation. When Emmet’s whole body wrapped around you though, squeezing you like you were his lifeline, your sleepy brain did make an attempt to wake up a little bit, to at least make sure that all those things weren’t a threat to you, and you could continue sleeping.
“I am Emmet”. Emmet’s quiet, whispering voice brought your consciousness into the state between sleep and waking. “Did you know. When looking for a missing person. The first three days are the most important”.
Emmet’s voice was soft and quiet, barely a whisper in your ear. Your brain couldn’t quite decide if you really were hearing him speak, or if this was part of the pre-dream hallucinations. Emmet always fell asleep very quickly at night and never stayed up, much less to talk. And why would he even talk to you right now? You’re obviously not conscious enough for that. Must have been your imagination after all.
“Most found missing persons are found within the first three days. If more time passes. There are less chances they will be found. Ever”.
You weren’t awake enough to properly understand what Emmet was saying, or if he was talking at all. But you somewhat acknowledged that what you heard made you feel sad and hopeless. You must have been having a nightmare.
“Did you know that… They stop searching. If there aren’t any leads for too long. Until another clue comes up. If it does”.
You didn’t hear anything after that. In the end, your subconscious ended up blaming Emmet’s voice on the hallucinations, and while the words you heard made your sleep a little more anxious, you didn’t react physically in any way. Soon enough, you drifted back to sleep, after you didn’t hear anything else for enough time.
When you woke up the next morning, you couldn’t remember what you were dreaming about. The memory of the dream slipped away from you the moment you opened your eyes. But even though the memory was gone, the distress remained there, with no context, but the knowledge that you must have had a very unpleasant dream. That was the only explanation you had for why you were feeling drained before you even had the chance to start your day.
When you turned in the bed to look at Emmet’s side and didn’t find him there, it wasn’t even a surprise anymore. But it was still a disappointment, and you sighed heavily. Maybe it was the residual feelings that you were left with after the dream, but that morning you felt particularly lonely and empty.
Getting out of bed was very hard that morning. And if you were to be honest with yourself, you really didn’t want to do it. You wanted to stay in bed, maybe sleep some more. You wanted to cuddle with Emmet and Ingo, as you usually did on their days off, before everything went off the rail. That would have helped you move on from the unpleasant start of the day. Or at least just Emmet. To remind you that you aren’t alone.
But all of that loneliness, and Emmet not being there just cemented what you already thought about last night – you needed to talk with Emmet. Now.
After an embarrassing amount of time that it took you to convince yourself to get up, you moved straight to Emmet’s bedroom. As you already guessed, he was there at his desk, already damaging his eyes with the continuous staring at the glowing laptop screen. This time, when you approached him from behind, he didn’t jump and wasn’t startled at all. He was already used to you coming here each morning of his day off, checking in on him once you woke up. His eyes briefly moved to look at you, without turning his head. Then he looked back at the screen.
“I am Emmet. I already had breakfast. So did all of my and Ingo’s Pokemon. You have nothing to worry about. Yup”.
Emmet answered the questions before you even had the chance to ask them. Were you really that predictable? You supposed you did ask the same thing each morning like this, it made sense Emmet saw the pattern already and adapted to it. It still didn’t feel good to be brushed aside like this though, and you sighed.
“I know… Emmet, I wanted to talk to you”.
You stood by him, waiting for Emmet to give you his attention. While he was finishing something, you took a glance at the screen. You weren’t really that interested in what kind of paperwork he might be doing. But this time, you couldn’t help but tale a peek – what could have Emmet been doing for so long, to the point it consumed him like this? Though, beside a wall of text and what looked like a small photo of someone you didn’t recognize, you couldn’t make anything out.
Emmet turned his head to you fully at last. “Sure. What is it?”
Him not dismissing you immediately gave you a small boost of confidence and bravery. Though even with that, you were still very anxious about starting this conversation. You repeated all the words you were going to say in your head many times yesterday. Yet, now that you were standing here, ready to say them, your mind came up blank, and you could only communicate the basic idea of what was on your mind. “You… you shouldn’t work that much anymore. You should take a break and actually use this day off as an actual day off”.
The more you spoke, the more you saw Emmet’s facial expression change, from engagement and attention, to… slight annoyance? Displeasure? Maybe you were just being dramatic. You hoped, at least.
“I do not need rest. I need to finish this. I cannot rest”.
You expected Emmet to argue, so you immediately argued back. “Yes, you can, and you should. You can’t keep working non-stop like this. Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? You look like death!”
“I am Emmet. I do not look like death”.
You rolled your eyes in exasperation. Whether Emmet truly didn’t think so, or he was simply denying the obvious based on a petty technicality or how you worded it, you were still not having it. “Yes, you do. You have black circles like you’re trying to make a new fashion statement. An awful one. Your face looks like you will either snap or faint at any moment. You barely have any energy to do anything but work. How can you say you’re fine?”
Emmet turned away, obviously wanting to argue back, but seemingly unable to find a good enough argument. You were hoping you managed to convince him, but you knew how stubborn he can be, and that it most likely wouldn’t be that easy. And you were right.
“…How I look is not important. I need to finish this. This is important”.
“Emmet, there’s no work that can be more important than your wellbeing!” You threw your hands up, emphasizing what you said, and finally letting out what you’ve been feeling for months. “Please, I’m worried about you! What kind of paperwork can be so important that you work on it from early morning till dead of night, even on lunch breaks, even on days off with little to no break, to the point you look like a zombie?!”
Frustration and sadness could be clearly heard in your voice, and you were sure Emmet could hear it too. You didn’t intend to lose your composure, but seeing Emmet’s face become a little guilty, you thought that maybe it was a good thing in the end. If it helped Emmet understand what you were feeling.
He was silent for a while, looking away from. He was looking in the direction of the laptop, but not actually at it. His look was distant, his face making it obvious he was thinking really hard. You didn’t push, patiently waiting for his response. Soon enough, Emmet spoke up again.
“…It’s not paperwork”.
That… wasn’t what you expected to hear. You hesitated for a moment, not quite sure what to respond to that. Emmet was still looking away, not in a hurry to look you in the face again. A few seconds of silence later, you finally found your voice.
“What… what do you mean it’s not paperwork? Then what do you keep reading and writing every day for so long?”
Emmet finally looked up at you, though there still wasn’t much confidence in his look still. “It’s not paperwork”. He repeated a little louder, as if that was somehow supposed to answer your question. You shook your head.
“Then what is it?”
You asked again, hoping to get the answer this time. Emmet still didn’t say anything to answer your question. After a few seconds of silence, he motioned at the laptop monitor, as if inviting you to read yourself what was on it. You hesitated for a moment, confusion still making you stall, but you leaned in and looked at the screen again, now paying closer attention to what was on it.
At first, all you saw were walls of text. You started to read a few random sentences, but it was still difficult to understand what exactly this was about without the context. You took the mouse and gave Emmet a questioning look. He nodded in approval, and you scrolled to the top of the page. Once you saw the top, it became a bit easier to understand what the wall of text was about, at least.
“…Are those missing people’s cases deep dives?” You gave Emmet a confused look. This was not paperwork. This also didn’t explain anything. “Emmet, I don’t understand”.
While your brain was running rapidly, trying to think up of a theory about why Emmet would be spending so much time on something like this, he leaned down and opened one of the desk drawers. When he pulled out a thick folder with a stack of papers, filled with photos and text, both written and printed, you felt completely lost.
You glanced up at Emmet, hoping that doing so would somehow give you answers. He was watching your reaction, waiting for you to take a closer look at the papers. Of course, that didn’t give you any answers as to what all of this was. So you took a few of the papers from the stack and took a closer look.
Photos of places and what you could only assume different crime scenes. Different snippets of what probably were reports, with only certain parts copied into a file and printed, with certain words highlighted, and with handwritten notes on the sides. You still weren’t quite sure what this was. And, honestly, the amount of documents and hand-written notes made you concerned.
It took you a few seconds to put it all together, but when it finally clicked, you felt even more concerned. All these papers, all these notes, photos, articles, official reports had something very obvious in common – they were all somehow connected to missing people reports. And if you weren’t mistaken, all written notes and clippings were somehow trying to find patterns between some of these cases and how they were solved.
You were already getting an idea of what all this was and why Emmet was collecting all of this. The anxiety that came with the realization didn’t let you speak up though, instead creating a pit somewhere in your stomach and making your mind lock up in what felt like silent panic. There were so many implications, so many conclusions you came to, all in just a few seconds after it all clicked in your brain. And all of those conclusions you really weren’t liking at all.
You looked back up at Emmet, and you could only guess your face betrayed the panic you were feeling and trying very hard to suppress. Emmet’s eyes remained on the papers the whole time and he didn’t look up when you did. He was still staring at the stack when he spoke up again.
“I am Emmet. I am looking for Ingo. I’ve been looking into other missing person’s cases. The ones that were solved. To find a pattern. Possible solutions. Causes”.
You opened your mouth soundlessly, the closed it, the opened again, like a Magikarp, unable to say anything still. It took you a few seconds to find your voice again.
“But… why? You… you’ve been doing all this for… what, a month? You’ve been spending all your free time on this, and…” There were so many thoughts on your mind, and they were jumping around your head chaotically. It was incredibly hard to voice them in a way that would be comprehensible. “…You practically stopped existing for a month! You barely interacted with me, or with Elesa, or anyone, you only worked and did… this. For what? What’s the point? The police are-“
“They’re not doing shit”.
You were stunned into silence by the sudden interruption. Emmet’s usually flat voice sounded almost uncharacteristically forceful, almost resentful. That was what made you quiet, giving you another handful of complicated feelings your brain was trying to process.
You were sure that Emmet would either apologize for scaring you, or at least give a tiny sign that he’s sorry at all. But he seemed overwhelmed with feelings himself and just continued his outburst. “The police are not doing anything. I told you last night. I‘ve read about it. It’s been months. They still have no clues. They aren’t finding Ingo. They aren’t trying anymore”.
Emmet’s hands tightened into fists as he gave the stack of papers a burning glare, as if trying to set them on fire. All you could do was stand there, waiting for him to continue and try to wrap your head around everything that was happening. So what you heard last night was not a dream. Emmet really was talking to you while you were half asleep. The memory wasn’t even that bright in your mind up until now, as your brain treated it like how it would a memory of a dream, erasing it from your mind, unless something very specific brought it to light. And Emmet just did.
Emmet sighed, frustration and anger still visible on his face as he stared at the floor. “They’re not taking the case seriously enough anymore. They’ve given up. They’re not saying it outright. They say they’re waiting for more leads. They don’t want to say they’ve given up. I’m looking for clues myself. I am Emmet. I will find Ingo. Myself”.
Your stunned silence lasted way after Emmet said everything he wanted to. You were having too much trouble processing everything, and it wasn’t helping that Emmet gave you even more information you were now having hard time accepting.
There was no way what he was saying was true. The police were still looking for Ingo. It was their job. They wouldn’t just… stop working on a case like that. Would they? They would keep searching, until they either found Ingo, or at least found out what happened to him. That was how it was supposed to work. That was what you believed in. The idea that it might have not been the case was too hard of a pill to swallow.
“No… that can’t- that can’t be it. They must be searching, it’s just really hard. With so little clues…” Your voice sounded meek, and there was no confidence in what you were saying at all. Emmet finally looked up at you, though the look on his face almost made you wish that he didn’t. If you let your intrusive thoughts control you to a bigger degree at that moment, you would have thought all that anger and frustration was aimed at you.
“I’ve been looking into it. How they work. What they do with missing people’s cases. They’ve given up. I know it. It’s been too long with no leads. It doesn’t change anything if you don’t believe it”.
You flinched, and you probably grimaced briefly, as if you got stung. If what he was saying was true, about the police not taking the case seriously anymore, then he was right, but… This just couldn’t be true. This couldn’t be how it actually worked. Because if it was…
You hesitated for way too long for how timid the response you ended up giving was. “…But… You still shouldn’t… You shouldn’t spend all of your time on this…”
Emmet didn’t seem to like your response very much and you wilted even more under his frown. Even worse, you almost felt like it was Ingo staring at you right now. Disappointed that you weren’t letting him be found.
“No one will if I don’t. Too much time was already lost. I need to do everything I possibly can”.
He grew silent for a second, giving you a look you couldn’t decipher. Or maybe didn’t want to. Then he looked down again, something sad in his eyes as he stared off into space.
“You gave up on Ingo already too”.
That simple sentence made your whole body shudder, as if you got struck by lightning. It didn’t even seem like Emmet was making an accusation. He simply already accepted that as truth, despite not liking it himself. Regardless, you felt a strong urge to defend yourself.
“What?! No, I didn’t!”
“Yes. You did. You don’t think he’ll come back home. You don’t think the police will find him either”.
You breathed in and out a few times sharply, trying to find the correct words, but Emmet interrupted you again.
“That’s why you fold those bird Pokemon. You think only a miracle can bring Ingo back”.
If you were speechless before, now you felt like you had no arguments you could come up with anymore. The shock made it almost impossible for you to word anything comprehensive. But you still tried. You couldn’t just leave such accusation unanswered.
“That’s- that’s not true…”
“Really. Then why do you fold the Ho-Ohs? Why do you keep the ones you made? What wish do you want to come true?”
You grew silent again. Because you didn’t have anything to say, besides that he was right. But you didn’t want to admit it. You did want to make a wish for Ingo to come back home, didn’t you? And if you needed to rely on getting that wish granted through magic, did that really mean you no longer saw it as something realistic? Something that didn’t need magic to happen?
Emmet stared down at the floor again, his look distant and empty once again. “It’s not going to help. What you’re doing. It’s a superstition. It won’t help”.
Your hands balled painfully into fists and you bit your lip again, this time to the point you felt the taste of iron in your mouth. You had nothing to respond to that, but you had to answer something. “I… didn’t give up. I just think you should not overwork yourself”, you argued weakly. All you could do at the moment was deny one of Emmet’s claims and repeat the thought you’ve been trying to make him understand from the beginning – that he needed to take a break. Even if, at that point, you knew you would not succeed.
Emmet sighed heavily in response. He turned back to his laptop on his chair, away from you, focusing on the screen once again. “I am Emmet. I am not overworking myself. I need to keep going. To find my brother”.
What he said felt like him ending the conversation. Even then, you continued to stand there, near his desk, not leaving his bedroom. You wanted to leave Emmet be. But you also didn’t. You didn’t like how this conversation went, at all. It went a completely different route from what you expected and was hoping for. You wanted to stand your ground, keep arguing and get Emmet to see that he needed a break. That you missed him and wanted to spend the day with him, without him getting cooped up in his bedroom, glued to his computer, one on one with his paperwork.
But you didn’t. You were too confused by everything you just learned. Too disheartened by Emmet’s attitude. Too upset to try and be the voice of reason. So, after what felt like hours of hesitation, you finally turned around and walked out of the bedroom on stiff legs that refused to bend or listen to most of your bran’s commands. It was a miracle you didn’t trip on your way out.
You remembered that you still hadn’t had breakfast, but instead of going to the kitchen, you made a combeeline to your bedroom. You flopped back onto your bed, as you felt your legs could give up under you at any moment. Besides, you needed comfort. And since Emmet was the reason for your awful mood and wouldn’t be there to help you calm down, the bed was the first thing you thought of when thinking of getting comforted. It didn’t help much though. You associated the bed with comfort because of how much cuddling you’ve had with Emmet and Ingo in there. Cold and empty bed only served as bitter reminder of why you were there in the first place.
You raised your head when you heard quiet and concerned chirping and clicks, and felt the back of your palm getting pinched lightly. Sitrus was looking at you with his big and small blue eyes, worry for you clear in them. You smiled softly, picking up the little Joltik with your palm. You strongly associated Emmet’s Joltiks with their trainer. But this little darling was different. He was so attached to you, you considered him to be pretty much your Pokemon instead.
You sat up and nuzzled the little fuzzy bug to reassure him that you’re alright. And to get some comfort you were craving so much yourself.
“It’s okay, Sitrus. I’m okay… He’s not right. He doesn’t… He doesn’t know what he’s talking about”.
You were talking mostly to yourself, rather than to the Pokemon in your hand. And, if you were to be honest with yourself, you were simply trying to reassure yourself. You yourself didn’t believe what you were saying. But it was easier to repeat this like a mantra, hoping it would somehow change the reality and become the truth.
Your body moved on its own when you pushed yourself off the bed and went to sit at your desk. You only hesitated a little when you reached for your stack of small papers to make more paper Ho-Ohs. You hesitated a little more when your eyes fell on the Ho-Oh that Emmet made. You kept going anyway though.
It’s okay, you kept telling yourself. You did start doing this initially to deal with stress. This was what you’ve been doing this whole time. This was what you were doing now too. Just stress relief. Of course the whole legend that existed about folding a thousand of these Ho-Ohs is just a legend, and you will most likely not be granted a wish. You didn’t need one. The police will find Ingo, and he will be home without any magic.
You kept telling yourself that as you kept folding. You were doing this all for yourself, not for a miracle. You kept repeating it to yourself, subconsciously hoping that if you tell yourself this enough times, you will eventually convince yourself of that.