Kotetsu

@Kotetsu

i'm zigzagoon!

he/him/they/them

kotetsu // enby // nd // 32

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Kotetsu @Kotetsu11/9/2023, 3:21 AM

Coda @Codarobo

ace @Ace6/9/2023, 6:31 PM

If you've never moderated an online space before the secret is that people will never see the 99.999% of ways in which you agree with them and instead will drive themselves into a deranged frenzy over the small ideological gaps, or even honest human error, and they will hate you for it. It is not thankless, it is frankly destructive to the self in today's world to try to make it a better place in this sort of way. Everybody loses

ace @Ace6/9/2023, 6:35 PM

It may have been years ago now but I am many people's Bad Guy and frankly the result is that if I see someone's first response to any situation is anger, I know to avoid with prejudice. You have been training with the wrong tools all along and I will not forgive you for the damage you unknowingly render

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in reply to @Ace's post:

full-quack webbed developer @Webster6/9/2023, 6:41 PM

i am constantly paying attention to how my peers respond to misalignments with others and being incredibly surgical about how much i let them into my life based on that. i've also learned the hard way that this is an act of self-preservation.

ace @Ace6/9/2023, 6:43 PM

Sorry to hear, it sucks.

the cat ever @twi6/10/2023, 12:04 AM

i do this exactly and you've put it better than i probably ever could've. i hate being unable to just trust people, even those i feel a lot of affection for, and not keep them at arm's length!

♿︎｜Asriel // Azi｜Θ∆｜🏳️‍⚧️@MisutaaAsriel6/10/2023, 5:18 AM

I recently learned this and it sucks hard. But I at least know more about who my friends really are.

frankie boyle's beanbag chair of death @micolithe6/9/2023, 8:34 PM

there's something to the whole "you really mellow out in your thirties" thing but for my case specifically i think it's because being angry online all the time is 1. not productive at all 2. exhausting and 3. hurts people

chell @alterae11/9/2023, 2:32 AM

it takes people until their thirties for that to happen? i’m not even old enough to drink and i’ve already found myself mellowing out DRAMATICALLY over the past year or two

ace @Ace11/9/2023, 2:43 AM

I know plenty of people in their thirties who have not mellowed out and postured their anger into a cudgel to harm others. Sadly not a universal experience by any measure

chell @alterae11/9/2023, 3:00 AM

crazy. granted it’s also been quite an intense few years for me so i have kinda been forced to mellow out because i literally can’t spare that energy anymore

Gay Eminem on 9/11 @DecayWTF11/9/2023, 3:27 AM

Even just internalizing, "If you act like this at people you are trying to start a fight with them" seems like it would help a lot of people cause... I don't think anyone would accuse me of being Too Mellow but being cognizant that that's what's going on makes a big difference. I'm not really interested in starting fights mostly! I don't think most people are!

frankie boyle's beanbag chair of death @micolithe11/9/2023, 3:30 AM

i fucking hate being in fights! i'm very conflict avoidant and it's one of my personal flaws I have identified & would like to fix

But being on the attack all the time is not good for anyone & tbqh not all problems are equal & learning to just let things go is actually pretty relieving.

jo @adragonesscalledjo7/6/2023, 7:30 AM

I am ... working on this. It is slow going and heavily governed by fork count.

Striker @sentaistriker7/6/2023, 1:03 PM

100 percent. It's basically the the worst thing for me because I often found myself having to do this with people I otherwise was friends with, because their impaired ability to communicate in general caused clashes

mattachine meow machine @spookybiscuits11/9/2023, 2:31 AM

this strikes right to the heart every time i see it.

wyx!@kobold-wyx11/9/2023, 3:32 AM

but I am many people's Bad Guy

i know this feeling too well and you are correct

Dragaroth @Dragaroths-hideaway11/9/2023, 5:06 AM

The post 2012 environment of "everyone wants me dead so kill them first" really has fucked shit up.