• he/him

one more cute disaster… it’s hard here in paradise

last.fm listening



wobblegong
@wobblegong

One of the most useful social fallacy antidotes I ever internalized is that any given person will survive, nay, thrive despite not being my friend, if I don't want to be friends with them. (And vice versa!)

In other words I try to avoid asking myself "is this person obnoxious/scary/mean/weird ENOUGH to justify seeing them less/ghosting/not hanging out?" and instead ask myself "do I like this person's company/presence? do I want to make room and time for them in my life?"

Obviously this is for social/pleasure relationships; my moral/political commitments to other human beings are not based on how much I like a given person. But when it comes to clubs or hang-out spots or internet groups? The only thing more finite than my time is my energy so I'm going to prioritize the people who delight me, not the missing stairs.


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