You know, I'm sure that by someone's metrics I qualify as a detransitioner which is sort of weird to think about.
I have zero regrets, but like, I have definitely gone from being very insecure about myself, to experimenting with gender, and subsequently coming out the other side massively more secure in my masculinity and what that means to me - and I'm positive some (cis, incurious) people would see that from the outside and think "Oh he changed his mind".
Actually I'm sure the people that might think that are exclusively from the pool of people who when I came out, instantly assumed I was exclusively transfemme despite me being very upfront about being Enby. Looking at you, certain family members.
this is good illumination on why I think we'd be better off eliminating the term "detransition" entirely. it frames harmless experimentation as a mistake. it's indelibly associated in the public mind with a body "permanently scarred" by "the wrong" hormones — simultaneously reinforcing stigmas around trans bodies, and usurping sympathy for them onto (assumed-)cis ones.
I'd love to see a real push to change the language to retransition, because it's really exactly that and the implications of "did it more than once!" are far better for everyone than "shouldn't have in the first place."
It REALLY poisons the waters for people talking about their needs and experiences. I have met one person who did transition for an extended period and now sees it as a mistake and is dealing with the issues of that and she can barely talk about it bc she doesn't want anyone to use her experience as a cudgel against trans people and access to HRT.
That's the messy reality of being human. Sometimes we do make mistakes, even about big important things. Sometimes things seem like exactly what we want and then it turns out differently when you try it. It shouldn't be anywhere near the big deal society makes it, if you're wrong about your gender what's the big problem? Lots of people regret having kids and that's way worse.
In the absence of those wishing to force their ideological beliefs and restrictions upon others, people would just be able to talk about their experiences earnestly with nuance. Sadly we live in a hell where people are unable to talk about their experiences openly without being used against their will as a faceless and voiceless example of the harms of free will. So they often choose silence so as to not be silenced in the commission of other's acts of cruelty...
I think the idea of "gender exploration" with medical assistance, has ended up being an almost taboo concept to discuss because the cruel authoritarian types have been fairly successful in framing uncertainty in ones gender as evidence that such individuals are mentally or emotionally unfit to be trusted with hormone therapy. That the knowing of ones gender is something inherent and absolute and if you express uncertainty about it you must be protected from yourself.
The result of this treatment by these sorts in the discussion of detransition/retransition is that when someone stops hrt, it's treated as a definitive mistake and a definitive decision to go back to what they once were. That isn't necessarily the case and may lead to different gender presentation decisions by the person in question. Maybe taking hrt to head in a more physically feminine or masculine direction ends up being a poor fit for the person as well, but the information learned in that journey may help them find the kind of presentation of their self that IS more comfortable. It might be a place on the gender spectrum that they hadn't previously considered prior to being on hrt.
...fascists suck, terfs suck, liberal "I wish I could help but you need to wait for a more advantageous season" types suck. Free will is not without consequence but living with the consequences of ones own actions produces less suffering on average than the consequences of being denied the opportunity to make mistakes and learn.
