Chubby cuddlebot Lemma!

It's complicated and can be messy but it's not illegitimate!

Gonna get into some personal stuff of mine below so skip if you're not in the space for that:

Parasocial interactions aren't bad. They're value neutral. They can foster some really unhealthy shit if you're not careful and a lot of people aren't ready to or aren't able to navigate them in a healthy way, but that doesn't make them inherently bad. Just tricky. A close friend of mine who creates content for a living, patreon and all, has talked at length about this, and said things to that effect as well, and I don't disagree with any of her takes on the matter.

Hell, my first ex was someone I was formerly a fan of. That was SO complicated to navigate, and she has a lot of Feelings about it. So do I, honestly! It wasn't not a factor, and it's a hard thing to get away from, but I don't think it's Wrong. It was a major source of friction in a lot of ways. What I'm saying is that parasocial relationships are just a type of relationship, and they don't have to remain strictly in the one category. They're impersonal, and most times it's best they stay that way to some degree. They have a lot of problems that make it easy for people to fall into some bad ruts with them. But things are mutable, even if things can get really messy and complicated as a result of that.

Short answer? Yes it's hella complex.

Long answer? You aren't alone in feeling this way (though I feel it from the other side of the fence, as it were, from the people I've gotten to know through this). In some ways, it forces me to put a limiter on my interactions with people I otherwise wouldn't think twice about talking or spending time around. "Am I just here because I like their content? Are they laughing at my joke because they enjoy my company or because they don't want to alienate a subscriber?"

This hasn't always been a "harmful" thing - in more than a couple situations, I've found myself grateful for holding back or checking myself before assuming I knew or could count on someone I interact with through streaming/gameplay-adjacent circles. But it has always been a barrier, and one that I'm very nervous about ever assuming I'm clear to let down.

Relationships on the internet are something very recent, and I don't think we've quite worked out how those work compared to traditional, IRL relationships yet. I mean, what do you call someone you've talked to on and off for a serious period of time? Acquaintance is too distant. Just "friend" would be overselling it. I just call people like that internet friends, but that's a bit awkward and clumsy.

The financial thing does make things more complex, especially if you're the kind of person to whomst relationships of any kind are already weird. (Hi!) However, there's a thing I once saw somebody say about this, that paraphrased went something like, "I support my friends because I value what they do, and my sending them some money each month is my way of showing them that yes, I see what you do, and I appreciate it". That was in the context of Patreon, but I think it applies to any and all avenues that allow you to support someone in a small way. (I hope this made sense.)