Chubby cuddlebot Lemma!

Yes, I read that same Staff post. That’s what motivated me to join the site in the first place. Why I went all in. But stating their intended goals in a post made 11 months ago isn’t the same as achieving them 11 months later. The expression of their ideology should be self-evident in the experience of the site with each passing day; in fact, it should be a force multiplier as more people sign up. Maybe it will, I’m not discounting that! I even say in the post that perhaps there’s a missing critical mass. Later, I acknowledge how early it is for the platform and that Staff are seemingly doing the impossible.

In terms of concrete steps, what if Staff reminded everyone about this ideology in their weekly Patch Notes? Why not give us the option, if you’re an Adult Account, to get rid of all disclaimers/warnings/notices so I'm tacitly reassured that I belong here? I’m activated by many things but I know it’s my responsibility to manage my activation, not theirs.

And, to be clear, in no way am I suggesting breaking U.S. compliance laws. I don’t know why bring that up because that’s… absurd?

I’ve been a sex worker since 2019. I know how banks and payment processors can seize my funds at a moment’s notice. I’ve had to hand over biometric data to third-party verification monopolists like Yoti just to continue doing my job. I’ve filled elaborate release forms to prove that the people I work with are who they say they are. I’ve spoken to WIRED a few times about the intersection of erotic labour, compliance, and platform capitalism in the wake of OnlyFans threatening to ban erotic labour. How would making cohost a target for law enforcement officers wielding SESTA/FOSTA, or whatever version of EARNIT or the breakdown of Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act that the U.S. will eventually pass, benefit me and other erotic labourers? How would jeopardizing whatever relationship they hope to have with a payment processor solve things? It wouldn't, which is why I never went there.

And while I’m genuinely happy for you — I’d like to read your erotica! — my experience of this site is what it is and no less valid than yours. I'm confused as to why you think your experience is, or should be, universal.

Furthermore, let’s return to that Staff post. What it outlines, at best, is an acceptable use policy. It’s a few bullet points about acceptable behaviour on the platform, not a passionate screed about the marginalization of erotic labour nor "an entire screen of paragraphs," as you put it. I’m giving them a wide berth because we all have to start somewhere and I think there’s promise in a slower species of social media, but let’s not act like merely stating what is or isn’t allowed is the same as an ideological manifesto in defense of the work our most vulnerable users. We’re better than that.

See, that’s fascinating because I’ve always thought of you as someone who does leave a comment. And I totally get it, I sometimes can’t explain why I like something or I simply don’t have the time.

All this began with me asking myself a few questions: why am I still here? What sets cohost apart from other places? What makes me want to stay? Right now, not a lot. Most of the folks I follow haven’t uploaded anything in weeks, if not months. What I share doesn’t go anywhere, erotic or not. I’m not really into shitposting. I don’t have the luxury to use the internet leisurely and a shitpost as a unit of content is still tacit advertising for the culture of a site, so, unpaid labour.

I think Twitter and Tumblr before SESTA/FOSTA (and the latter’s purge of Adult Content back in 2018) are good examples of general audience sites that were... if not friendly then open to erotic labour in a way that didn't make you feel bad for posting it. Yes, cohost allows adult content but I hear more about all the new ways you can block it and rarely about any new ways to surface it, preserve it. That isn’t to say they aren’t working on it or haven’t mentioned it in a post once but I shouldn’t have to obsessively follow Staff for confirmation.

For what it's worth, I've always always appreciated your comments! They really make my day!

The shape and name of the like button is important, too. It used to be a star on Twitter back in the day, and treated as a "favorite" post. This changes the dynamic with interaction a fair bit, and you can imagine how "like" would later be used to drive up engagement.

Personally I feel if your system is going to be used like bookmarks it should just be bookmarks, and having a seperate system for kudos to nudge people with, to keep your bookmarks clear.

I don’t blame you, that’s extremely real and I appreciate you saying that 🤎

I hate how we got here. As a culture. Since making porn and porn games is what I do for a living, I really enjoy horny comments shared in good faith. I respect that that isn’t everyone’s stance but I also dislike the alternative which is to say nothing at all.

It does feel like that sometimes... Like I'm always trying to find the border between admiring and creepy thirst.

I feel this as well. I was rightly conditioned by my parents to be respectful toward others and to not reduce them to their sexuality. However, because I was never taught how to interact in regards to sex, that in turn makes it really hard to know exactly how to express horny thoughts in a mutually comfortable way... or to know when I should and shouldn't accept certain comments from others.

This gives me much to think about

absolutely feel this. i'm an artist and i know a lot of artists so i have an okay sense for what unwelcome comments look like, but i still don't feel especially comfortable saying anything remotely sexual at someone i've never spoken to before, even if it's just "hey nice butt"

the "turn off all the content warnings" button can't come soon enough, i'm glad to mark my work with an appropriate cw for those who need it, but for me getting the kinks worked out of the system means literally getting more kinks displayed out of the system

I'm not OP of course so don't want to talk over her, but one thing I noticed when taking a quick look through some NSFW content on here is that there doesn't seem to be any unified tagging strategy to surface this content. Granted, that can be a struggle in any subcommunity on this site, but maybe there's a big enough psychological distinction between "scrolling for shitchosts of a certain genre" and "scrolling for horny content"?

I wonder if it would be productive to provide some sort of auto-tag to everything marked "adult content" in the interest of providing a feed that surfaces all of the horny content on the site, regardless of whether it has the "nsfw" or "nsfw art" tags, or whichever tags you may be looking for. This would provide an overview that would certainly be too broad for most people's tastes, but that way consumers of NSFW content can see what the offerings are and maybe follow new profiles/common tags from there

Hi, I appreciate you writing back! Similarly, I write this not to confront. Here’s where I’m coming from followed by two pieces of actionable feedback.

I commend you and your team’s stated goals, I really do, but the reality is that it is no longer enough for a platform to simply say sex workers and erotic laborers are welcome. We lost that battle when SESTA/FOSTA was signed into law. When you reach a certain size, some combination of NCOSE/Exodus Cry/Visa/Mastercard/Stripe/Paypal may come after you and likely win. This is why GameJolt suddenly banned porn games and why everyone is quietly worried about Itch. Sex workers lost a crucial social media site they designed themselves roughly this time last year.

Broadly speaking, the solution isn’t technological but political. But that isn’t to say things can’t be done to make the experience of Cohost better. And I want this place to succeed! If I didn’t care I would’ve logged out and never looked back.

Actionable Feedback 1
I think what would help is an option to turn off all Content Warnings on other people’s posts. Leave them open without warnings or notices. I know what I want, I also know that there are hazards seeking it out. Like I said to @Atomicthumbs, that’s my responsibility. You can limit this option to pages that identify as 18+ to prevent minors from abusing it. Right now, I get a warning that says “This post contains 18+ content.” followed by a warning that says “This post has content warnings for: whatever” followed by a click-through button. I’m diligent about filtering tags and content warnings but even that can’t handle all the possible variations. The cumulative psychic effect is the same: There is something inherently wrong with this content and with you for seeking it out because it may offend someone, somewhere.

This may improve the deadening silence I and other erotic labourers experience, but I don't know how you test that.

Caveat
I recognize suggesting a fundamental change like this is no easy task and that requires time, research, scoping. I make no claims on Staff’s priorities, but I think there’s some merit to this change down the line.

Actionable Feedback 2
A clear statement of values located in an easy-to-reach part of the site that includes Staff’s take on erotic labour. Not just an Acceptable Use Policy, but an unequivocal statement. People need to know where the site stands and they shouldn’t have to dig through the archives or past comments to find out. Culture is defined top-down, right?

Caveat
No easy task, companies hire entire agencies to draft such a document, but that’s where we are with the internet. It may also be used against you by bad faith actors.

I would say that it'd be easier to engage with adult content if "hide adult content behind a clickthrough" allowed for more granular visibility into what's behind the clickthrough.