sometimes I forget that a lot of my takes are born from self-sacrifice because I assumed the only way to bring a good thing into the world was to not hold onto any of it for myself.
anyway I have had two places in the past 24 hours remind me that my approaches are actively detrimental to their goals and I am supposed to keep my mouth shut if I'm to keep tagging along.
however this blog is my space and I need to vent and make my feelings heard...even if the thought of being invalidated by rejection terrifies me because my self-worth is entirely informed by how safe people feel around me.
fuck. nah. I can't do it. I can't get myself shunned again.
I'll be a good boy. sorry.
