Every Sunday my Twitch subs and I watch Star Trek in my Discord. Here are my reviews and thoughts on each of the episodes as I see it. If you're curious about a nerd's views on Star Trek episodes, please read on, I go quite in depth with some of this episodes! I've watched some Star Trek before but not all of it!
Devil's Due - TNG
8.5/10
This episode starts in the best way. With more Data. Specifically, Data doing a bomb-ass acting job as Ebenezer Scrooge.
That is some good shit.
Anyways the actual episode starts, and the Enterprise has to rescue a rescue team who's being attacked by a mob who claims the world is going to be destroyed tomorrow. Turns out, they believe they've sold their souls to the Devil, who is supposed to return. Oh boy. This episode might Go Places. I hope it does.
Basically, a thousand years ago, the Devil promised a thousand years of peace and prosperity. Oh, only a thousand, uh oh, we out of years. After that time is up, she'll be back to enslave them for selling their souls to the devil.
Oh hey babe. What're your pronouns?
She claims to not only be Ardra, the devil of these people, but also the devil for EVERY culture. Including the Klingons!
This is Fek'lhr, who tortures the souls of the dishonorable. Upon seeing her, Worf IMMEDIATELY is really to fucking deck her across the face and fight her, which is possibly the most Klingon thing I've ever seen.
Leaving Data behind to look behind Ardra's documents, they're trying to find anything to explain who she is and how they can stop her. This entire episode, she basically flirts HEAVILY with Picard. It's really funny because she claims to be the actual devil and all the other devils in the universe, which are a LOT of men. So she's genderqueer and trying to jump into Picard's pants, which like, hype. And then she shows up on the Enterprise.
Sorry mommy, I'll do better next time.
Lots of stuff about how shitty religion is, and how it's often a source of fear that is used to control and exploit innocents. Christ, when did Star Trek get so WOKE?
omfg Ardra teleports to Picard's room while he's sleeping in lingerie, she is SO FUCKING HORNY. "OH COME PICARD, YOU KNOW YOU FIND ME TANTALIZING". Is this actually Lwaxana Troi in disguise????? She offers that she can fuck him in ways he can't even IMAGINE, like as Troi. Which is DEEPLY uncomfy, and shout outs to Picard just CLEARLY being EXTREMELY done with this shit. She does NOT appreciate him saying no to her climbing in his pants, though, and spends a good while just fucking with him. Teleporting him around, as well as teleporting the Enterprise.
Oh shit, they found out she teleported it away using Z-Particle readings, some nonsense bullshit they just came up with! Take a drink!
COURT CASE EPISODE TIME! Time to beat her in court with loopholes and bullshit! :D But there's a twist. If they loose, Picard has to fuck Ardra. Oh no. How horrible for you, Picard.
The case is not going well. This woman basically has Q powers, and is turning herself into things and causing tremors and all kinds of fun stuff. This is a fun goofy episode. In the end, while things are looking grim, Geordi comes through. Using those Z-Particles, they find a cloaked ship that's been doing all kinds of fancy shit with technology so that this con-woman can pretend to be Ardra and gain riches from the planet, not to mention so she can gain Picard's dick.
They capture her ship, and thwart her, and she's kidnapped, promising that they haven't seen the last of her. God I wish we hadn't. She never comes back, but she SHOULD HAVE.
This was fun. Goofy in a fun way, which is a thing that really fits Trek. Also has a lot to say about religion which I agree with, but I'm sure it pissed off a lot of people in 1991. Also, OBVIOUSLY Ardra isn't actually Satan, because there's ALREADY Satan, we've seen him in TAS, where he befriended Kirk and taught him how to do magic!
Clues - TNG
7.5/10
Our episode starts with more Dixon Hill fun! Basically the crew are relaxing after some hard missions, and Guinan is visiting Picard to find out what he does to relax. Which, again, is to be in Dixon Hill mystery novels where people are shot at. She doesn't get it.
She looks fucking fantastic though.
While going to explore some nearby planet, they fly through a wormhole by accident, and everyone is knocked unconscious except Data. Apparently they were out for 30 seconds and went .54 parsecs, about a day's travel. Riker is like "It's a good thing we didn't get thrown to the other end of the galaxy". Yeah good thing. Can you imagine that happening to anyone? That would suck.
The term "minor mystery" is repeated a lot her. Lots of small little mysteries and things that are... Off. The class M planet is actually not class M. Dr. Crusher's Plant Orbs here show growth of over 24 hours, not 30 seconds. And Data is acting... off. He gives a very strange suggestion and reasoning for a problem, and seems to lie, which worries everyone.
Fun thing, which I've noticed recently. We see O'Brien have a team. We've been seeing Crusher also have a team. All the characters kinda have a team hovering around them, it makes the ship seem larger.
They find proof Data was lying, and are trying to study him to find out if he's been compromised. Everyone is worried and scared for Data. The idea that Data could just suddenly... go a little bad, not like EVIL, he's not actively hurting anyone, but he's lying. That's real spooky to them.
And then everyone else starts having issues. Troi is feeling faint. She looks in a mirror, and it's not her face staring back of her. It IS her face, but it's as if someone else is wearing her face as a mask. It's... spooky. A good mystery. Worf is having issues with his wrist. Turns out his was broken and fixed, implying they were all awake actually, but their memories wiped.
This episode is a good mystery, especially with Picard playing out the detective lining all the clues up. They return to the scene of the crime, and Troi is possessed by some alien force.
We get a flashback, and all is explained. They had fallen into a trap by Xenophones, who don't want anyone to even know they exist. The plan was to knock people out and make them think they fell into a wormhole. But Data fucked that up, what with not being knocked out. They made a deal, and Picard ordered Data to not reveal what happened. But whoops, Picard's curiosity got the best of him. He just HAD to solve that minor mystery. Picard secures another deal, as long as they leave NO clues. And thus they wake up, none the wiser.
Interesting episode. A good mystery. Pretty fun.
First Contact - TNG
9/10
This one is a cool mystery, but not from Starfleet's point of view! Instead, it's from some aliens, on the edge of space travel! This episode begins with Riker being treated by some aliens in a hospital who are like "What the FUCK why does this guy have so many fingers and toes???"
When Riker awakes he's like "Oh yeah I'm a genetic freak, I'm not normal". No one believes it. Someone is like "OMG IT'S ALIENS THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL, INFILTRATE OUR GOVERNMENT" which is VERY funny and VERY accurate. I'm sure Riker was just there at the wrong place at the wrong time.
The lead scientist of this society is pushing for warp travel, against conservative voices going "NO TOO FAR". As she's working, Picard and Troi show up to instigate first contact. The way they do it is very interesting, very slow and soft, like "with your permission, we'll show you how different we are." Apparently they wait for first contact before they're JUST about to get to space. Well, that is KINDA right. They're actually accelerating this process to get her help to get Riker back.
Back to Riker, the doctor is grilling him. He's not a bad guy, he's trying to help. He's worried, because the other doctors are whispering and might become... dangerous. Riker is still his PATIENT, though, and dammit, it doesn't matter if he's a god damn alien. That's not important.
Back on the Enterprise, Picard has brought the Chancellor of the planet into the fold, trying to work with him towards first contact. Picard is of course, perfectly Picardy about this. They're not telling him about Riker, he might be.... wary about that, but the science lady is like "I'LL HELP YOU FIND RIKER, I LOVE ALIENS :D" I like her.
This might be the most accurate episode of Star Trek ever. If there was an alien in one of our hospitals, some would be scared of him. And of course, the opposite would happen. There would absolutely be someone trying to fuck that alien.
As well as accurate. Conservative forces in government who are xenophobic and want to use this to gain power. And, just like in real life, the conservative minister is the most pathetic, dorky looking mother fucker I have ever seen.
To try and force the others to realize the aliens are dangerous, the conservative politician fakes an injury, faking a situation and pretending like the aliens were dangerous so that his people would not go with the aliens. Wow, a conservative FAKING EVIDENCE? NO WAY. The chancellor takes this moment to go "wow. We are NOT ready for First Contact. Krola is proof of that. Please leave, I'm gonna work on education first."
I understand it. I agree with him tbh. Yale remains on the Enterprise, and they hope everything will go better in the future. Maybe they should also go back and pick up the Horny Nurse, imagine all the sex she could have on the Enterprise. This was a good episode. I really like how different it is, but it works super well. I love the perspective situation.
Galaxy's Child - TNG
2.5/10
This episode starts with Picard like "Good news, Geordi! The designer of the Enterprise Engines is coming on board!"
And all of us IMMEDIATELY STARTED SCREAMING. NO. NO, GOD NO. NO, NOT THIS EPISODE. NOT ALREADY! WE'RE NOT READY!
I've been DREADING this mother fucking episode. So if you don't remember, a while ago, Geordi had an episode where he used the holodeck to create a replica of the designer of the Enterprise's engines to help him figure a problem out. He and the program fall in love with each other. And I was like "God please tell me she never shows up again".
SHE SHOWS UP. AGAIN. Geordi is SO excited to see this girl he's been crushing on, and formed a weird parasocial relationship with! And she's IMMEDIATELY hostile like "oh you're fucking with my schematics. Also I can tell you immediately want to climb in my fucking pants." Like, she's great. NONE of this is about her. It's not her fault at all.
She does eventually realize that Geordi fucked her in the Holodeck and is REASONABLE creeped out by it. Geordi lets it slip, basically. Geordi is very, VERY bad at this. Why is every Geordi episode so bad for him? They make his character more pathetic and more awkward, and also more CREEPY. It's the creepy that's the worst.
Anyways, back on the plot, they find a Space Whale. The Sphale notices them and attacks with some electric bullshit that stops them from being able to do anything. Picard is like "what a gorgeous creature" right before it attacks, and as it's literally about to kill them, he orders them to phaser it just SLIGHTLY to ask it to fuck off. It's enough to kill it, and the Sphale dies. Picard is CRUSHED about this, he feels terrible about killing it, even though he literally had to or they'd die. But I get it.
OH FUCK WE'RE BACK TO GEORDI. He's doing some dinner date and is setting the mood lighting, and the soft jazz. Set phasers to cringe. I'm literally going to mute this episode, I cannot watch this. Apparently they have some heart to heart, some shit about "starships being like her children", but her being "too forceful". I am so checked out it's not even funny.
Anyways ignoring that garbage, Sphale's corpse has a baby in it. They plan to do a c-section to save the baby, but Worf is like "uh this thing's mom attacked us and almost killed us this is a bad idea". Your opinions are noted, Worf, but we have to do this.
Back in the B plot (maybe more liek the Z plot), they're having a heart to heart in a Jefferies tube and she's trying to put him down and is like "uh. Okay, I'm now getting vibes so you should know I'm married???" and Geordi just scoffs. Why are they so bad at writing Geordi when they need to write him as a main thing to an episode??? He then mumbles to himself at a chess board, like "How could this have gone so wrong? I studied everything about her!" uh. You studied all her papers and read everything about her but like, not her Wikipedia article?
OH NO MR. WORF WAS RIGHT WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT. MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE RAISED SHIELDS OR SOMETHING????
Everyone is holding the Idiot Ball or the Creep Ball today. Hey speaking of the Creep Ball, Dr. Leah discovers the holodeck file DIRECTLY and is UNDERSTANDABLY FUCKING DISGUSTED.
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE AND UNDERSTANDING, BUT YOU'RE JUST GOING TO ASSUME THINGS ABOUT ME WITHOUT HEARING MY SIDE OF IT?" "Is your side of it exactly what I've said it was, you being a creep?" "YES BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT."
These two plots have nothing to do with each other btw, it's so jarring every fucking time it bounces between them.
btw here's a fun gif of Geordi rushing in to stop her from finding the AI-made images he's made of her by typing in "Leah Brahms naked" into Chat GPT.
Anyways, Dr. Brahms and Geordi work out a plan to get the baby off of them. Hey look, the plots are ACTUALLY colliding! They work it out in the end, everything is good, Brahms APOLOGIZES, which is offensive to me, and they end it on good terms. I mean come on, she was being a crazy bitch, Geordi is SUCH a nice guy, she just misunderstood! Finding the version of her that was like "Geordi, I love you, make love to me".
I hated that. Not much more needs to be said. At least the Sphale part was... okay.
Night Terrors - TNG
5/10
Some kind of lost starfleet ship is found, and the away team beams over. Troi goes with them, as she senses something.... Off. They reach the ship and find out that the entire crew is dead, save for one, a catatonic Betazoid.
All tests seem to show that there was no REASON they did this, but they started to just fucking kill each other. The log talks about mutinies and plots. About how some others were sus, or venting, or whatever.
Troi has some nightmares. In it, some voice is mumbling some madness about the dark and one moon, and Troi shouts "WHERE ARE YOU" while floating in a green void like she's Superman. This is actually a lot of the episode. Troi just like, trying to reach out psychically to things and then not getting much more than a couple disjointed sentences. It's... not very engaging.
The OTHER half of this episode is everyone being weirdly angry and pissy at each other. Tensions are high, there talks of spirits. O'Brien claims his wife is cheating on him? The doorbell for Picard's room is malfunctioning, like there's a ding dong ditcher. Crusher and Troi are like "Captain, I think what happened on the dead ship is happening here", as if that wasn't PAINFULLY OBVIOUS?
They find themselves in a thing called a Tyken's Rift, some kinda area in space where energy is being sucked away, so they can't get out. This episode DOES have a few interesting things. Makeup to show people getting tired. But it's kinda not enjoyable to watch the crew I love be angry at each other and snapping? Also we've already had "people not acting like themselves" plots before, though it's not quite to this same paranoid psychic delusions vibe before. They're trying to do a kind of... horror thing? Maybe a thriller? It's spooky, but doesn't QUITE meet its concept.
I might just be burnt out after the last episode. Someone did call it "Silent Hill: Enterprise" though which is very funny. And there are some good points. I like Picard saying how terrified he is of losing his mental faculties, like he saw happen to his grandfather.
And all the shit happening to the crew is creepy, and interesting! I like this scene, with the corpses waking up around Crusher. She discovers the issue though. They've not been able to dream, at all. There's been no REM sleep at all, so they've been hallucinating, and it's been fucking with them. Basically they've been sleep deprivated, and eventually they'll all go batty. Except for Data, of course, and Troi, who is having nightmares where she floats around and yells out, asking "WHERE ARE YOU?" a lot. Speaking of which, it's about time for one of those!
Holy SHIT? THIS ALSO HAPPENS? JESUS.
The pacing is really off in this episode, but it has some good scenes?? Like, this feels like the longest episode of my life. The pacing is REAL bad. But there's a lot to love here? Anyways, Troi realizes her dreams are a message from some other beings trapped on the other side of the rift.
Meanwhile, a mutiny is about to happen in Ten Forward. They begin riots, ready to spread to the rest of the ship, and Guinan puts that shit down immediately, with the highlight of the episode. Just enough to make this boring slog of an episode still okay.
Guinan with a fucking gun.
Anyways Troi gets the message across, they make it out, the day is saved. Every single person on the Enterprise goes to sleep at once which is probably bad but that's fine. Data is still awake, and literally daddies everyone and is like "I order you to bed". I imagine he reads a story over the PA system. I like to think it's "Go The Fuck To Sleep". That'd be funny.
Over all, it's okay. I guess.
