Lizstar

Gay Murr Girl

Liz, Goblin, Part-Time Shark, VTuber, retired speedrunner, author, GDQ staff, Sega fan, "Yuri Sommelier", Walking Encyclopedia of All Things Useless, Twitch partner, general menace. Says "Murr" a lot. This is not a place of honor, views my own, etc. Avatar art by me.


I want to preface this post with stating, I am not a pervert, but I am a big fan of Qix.

Gals Panic is a venerable series of games by Kaneko that's just a straight up rip off of ACTUAL venerable arcade game, Qix. The series is almost 100% porn, but there ARE a couple Gals Panic games that are NOT porn. This is one of them! I've been focusing Sega Saturn games lately and this seemed fun cause y'know, I like Qix.

The concept is simple. There are enemies flying around the middle of the screen, and you have a box that you're safe on. You can move out of the box, "drawing" a line. Connect that line back to the original box, and the image behind it becomes clear. Get 80% of the image cleared in order to get to the next level. This version also has attacks you can use, with varying intensity, and some power ups you can find by clearing the items as they pop up, stuff like speed ups and slow downs for the enemies.

You have 10 different girls, and then 2 bonus girls once you 100% the other 10 girls, and each girl has 5 pictures. The game is mostly a pretty pleasant fun romp through Qix levels, and also boring anime girls are there. Most of these anime girls are very, VERY boring. The best ones are the yankee, the other tom girl, and the girl who's like 6 inches tall and fighting frogs and lobsters.

I had to get 100% completion on all the levels in this game, and on the hardest difficulty. Wasn't too bad, took me 4 hours. Oh, also the music actually whips? It's got a lot of funk to it in a good way.

So yeah, good game, but makes me feel skeevy with all the underaged anime girls in sexy poses, because of course they're all underaged. I've never really understood Gals Panic as a concept, in that way. Am I... masturbating to this? It's too hectic for that. And like, Gals Panic was PRIMARILY in ARCADES. Who is masturbating in an arcade to Gals Panic? Can they stop, please?

Just look at normal porn, people, no need to crank your hog in an arcade. But yeah uh, good game, and NOT porn. Just a bit uncomfy. But the game DID say "YOU ARE A GALS MASTER!" when I 100%'d it, so uh, good news. I am a Gals Master. A Master of ALL Gals. That's like, a large chunk of this website lol


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in reply to @Lizstar's post:

There was a Korean (I think) build of one of the arcade titles that had no nudity and a weird power bar and if it dropped below a certain threshold, the image would change to this awesome alligator woman. This is, of course, the superior version.

nobody's expected to crank it in the arcade. gals panic and other arcade games like it have nudity for the same reasons a lot of wide release movies with nudity existed before (and for a while after) the home video boom, e.g.:

  1. it's a carrot on a stick. the creator doesn't necessarily care about making The Most Erotic Thing Ever—the nudity is a lure, a tease enticing the audience to spend money in the first place, to become a repeat customer, and even to recommend it to friends. this is heightened by the captive audience inherent in not having a home version, or at least not one with [nudity, the same girls, etc.]. with arcade games it's an even bigger deal compared to movies because of the element of skill involved in seeing the nudity in the first place
  2. most people don't have to have an image in front of them to remember it later in a private setting
  3. "normal" porn was harder to come by back then and it's less embarrassing to go to the arcade/the normal theater rather than hitting up a store's 18+ section or a grindhouse

(incidentally, while gals panic seems fairly mercenary in its intentions, some really cool art exists because of reason #1, especially in japan. you're probably familiar with how many Notable Visual Novels (fate, key's early work, etc.) are eroge with a clean version, but a similar reasoning led to a lot of left-wing filmmakers in the 60s and 70s making what were, officially, softcore films—if the people in charge of the money don't care about anything other than boobs showing up every once in a while, then you have a ton of artistic freedom)