I hope you always have one (1) of your socks get wet immediately after you put clean ones on. Preferably from something more disgusting than water.
I hope you stub your toe on every piece of furniture in your home at least once a day for the rest of your pathetic life.
I hope you always get stuck in the slowest moving lines wherever you go that has a line you have to wait in. And if you're in a hurry, I hope a Karen is immediately ahead of you and further delays things by making a big stink about something, just as you're about to breath a sigh of relief when you see that you're next.
I hope that your food goes bad in your fridge faster than normal, but you don't notice half the time until after you get food poisoning.
I hope that every time you desperately need to use the bathroom while out in public, the only toilet you can find available turns out to be the one someone just had a very bad case of explosive diarrhea in and half missed the bowl without cleaning up afterwards.
I hope that your neighbors let their dogs shit in your yard and leave it there every day when you're not there to see them do it. If you don't have a yard, I hope it's literally on your front doorstep.
I hope every car you ever buy turns out to be a total lemon, but doesn't show it until 3 months afterward.
I hope you get added to every spam email list on the planet, and your spam filters (quite fittingly) completely fail to catch the most egregious, obnoxious spam emails.
I hope any time you're forced to sit somewhere in public, be it on an airplane, bus, at a restaurant, or elsewhere, you end up stuck sitting as close to possible to screaming, poorly behaved children whose parents have clearly given up on trying to control them.
I hope you get locked out of your car twice a week, and out of your home at least twice a month.
I hope your plumbing gets blocked up at least once a month, at the least opportune time.
I hope you get a cold every time the weather notably changes, followed immediately by strep throat.
I hope you routinely get targeted by edgy, terrible Tik-tok "pranksters" out in public.
I hope you constantly get papercuts that you only notice after applying hand sanitizer or cutting hot peppers.
Please stop fucking up the world worse than it already is. We're already living in a craptialist dystopian hellscape that gets worse all the time, with new wars and conflicts and violence popping up every time it starts to seem like maybe, just maybe there's some reason to have a tiny sliver of hope for the future. Democracy, such as it is, is faced with every increasing threats from fascist lunatics. Every company under the sun (including Google) would love nothing more than to turn every aspect of life into a paid subscription service and eliminate the concept of ownership altogether. Pretty soon they're going to figure out a way to monetize your heart beating in your chest, I'm sure.
Maybe don't further ruin an already crappy platform that's one of the few places people have some kind of outlet or escape from it all, yeah? The gaming industry is already on that and don't need help.