Rambling a bit about certain kinks and such below the readmore. Don't respond if you just wanna stir things up, this is just kind of a flow of consciousness type thing. Nothing is directed at anyone in particular, nor meant to be an attack on anyone. Just my brain being a mess of various thoughts and feelings as usual.
Not here to kinkshame, although it may come across that way. Sorry in advance if it offends you somehow, though I'd be confused if it did. Just some rambling about BDSM (and related) portrayals in art and such, from a largely outside perspective.
I can't help but be strongly offput by a lot of portrayals of BDSM stuff. On the one hand, yeah, very much not my thing personally to begin with. But also, the way its portrayed in a lot of art and other media feels kind of... off. (Really trying to avoid judgy wording here, though my feelings on the matter are stronger than this might indicate....)
And I think I've come to realize a big part of the problem. There's rarely (in my perception/experience, anyway) any kind of aftercare followup to a lot of it. No indication that it's just sort of a roleplay thing, that it's all consensual and there's lots of communication etc. And granted, it's fiction anyway, and if you've known me any time, you know where I stand on the absolute separation of fantasy and reality. But I do wish artists would show more of those parts of the relationship. It's always a breath of fresh air when you do see it. To the point where, even if I'm strongly averse to most BDSM stuff as a rule, I can be an absolute slut for sweet, loving aftercare art. This goes for other things too, not just typical BDSM kinks.
It's almost like some people lose the fact that it's just supposed to be a roleplay/fun thing, not a constant, permanent state of being. A game, in a way. No, you're not really in a master-slave relationship or whatever, that shit's literally illegal. (Well, in theory anyway, but that's a whole other unrelated The World is Just Awful rant.) It's just a thing you do for fun. Consent is still critical, as is genuinely caring for your partner(s) and understanding their limits and boundaries. They're still a person deserving of love and respect, which would absolutely not be involved in real slavery or abuse.
I saw a comic once that involved a bunch of things that squicked me (although not my Big Nopes, mind you, for which there can be no exceptions), but I kind of loved it a little anyway because there was a bunch of clear communication and obvious love in the mix. And it ended with the characters in question chatting about ideas for future sessions in a very casual, yet clearly loving way, more or less as equals. That's the kind of shit I really wish there was more of. Most of the actual kinks would still not be my thing, but I'd definitely feel a lot less offput by a bunch of it if they showed that side of things more.