I'm afraid of sharing anything online, including feelings that all humans experience, because it could come back to bite me later.
But I also want to just be able to use the tools that my generation has guilt-free and fear-free for once.
I want to "break the rules" by... doing what literally everyone else does and was allowed to do. I want to not have to hear how crappy everything is all the time from our parents and the news they blare all day, and then feel like it's on my shoulders to set some moral example for everybody else, or like it's on my shoulders to prove them wrong or introduce positivity into their lives. Smartphone bad, internet bad, politics bad, media bad, commercials bad, everything bad. Change bad!
The moral example being... to never let out emotions in public, of course, because now we're supposed to be catering to a public of billions of people rather than just our local public. Because it could come back at us to have a different emotional experience than everyone else does. It could be twisted to make us look absolutely insane for having a reaction just about anyone on Earth would have to one situation or another. Because everything is twisted. There's always someone out to get you. Evil is everywhere.
This mentality just gets so extreme. It gets so grating. My consciousness is being shredded by a cheese grater right now. lmao
This is my rule-breaking, absolutely blasphemous behavior: making a cohost post while I feel terrible. I know -- I'm such a daredevil. Such a rascal. An absolute rapscallion. Practically a criminal. This is so risky.
But here, the rules in our system pertaining to deleting close to all emotionally charged messages don't apply! Instead, rules about conducting ourselves online do. I believe I've followed them all, but I am not under Order's dominion in this current situation anyway.
So... I did it. I posted about something human in public -- an emotion of my own, no less. Crazy, right?