I met my first dog today.
I didn't realize there was going to be non-sentient lifeforms aboard. Lieutenant Kimball was showing his grandmother around the ship with Captain Blake and behind them was this... thing. Mr. Kimball called it Rascal and said it was a type of dog called a pug. Obviously there are Federation culture classes during Academy training, but how was I supposed to know that humans made different kinds of dogs?
I got shown non-stop pictures of cats throughout my four years at the Academy. Caitian, cat, ha ha, are your babies this cute, do you haz cheeseburger, that sort of thing. Nobody shows Caitians dogs as a joke.
So, sure, okay. The baby comparison, let's see. The best way I can think to describe Rascal is if you were to take a really funny-looking Caitian baby - and I don't mean funny ha-ha, I mean funny why would the Mother of Starlight let that happen - and push its nose in until it could smell its own eyeballs. Which I think it was doing the whole time I was looking at it. It just kept... grunting, that awful little pot roast looking in two directions at once.
Mr. Kimball said that Rascal was nice, and that he likes belly rubs. What part of a sphere is the belly?! So I put my hand out and it spoke. It said, "Bleauh," very clearly, and its tongue lolled out of its flat little face. I could feel its breath on my fur; I don't think a sonic shower is going to scrub that sensation any time soon. "Bleauh," it said again, and then just kept repeating that noise, "bleauh, bleauh, bleauh..."
Why would humans make a thing like this?!
Computer: End log. Ew.
- Ensign R'birr, Operations