“I need you to turn me into a computer so I can prove the Collatz conjecture.”
The witch eyed his mathematician friend suspiciously. He’d never heard of the Co… whatever… knowing her, it was probably some obscure math thing. She’d probably keep nagging him about it until he relented, like that time she wanted to be an anthro giraffe, “but like, with a telescoping neck,” because she wanted to look into something about how things look at different heights.
“Yknow what, I’m not even gonna ask,” he said, waving his hand. His friend opened her mouth in surprise, not thinking it’d be happening so soon, but her three dimensional features were flattening and glowing, becoming pixels on the monitor that her face was growing into. Her mouth moved on the screen, but she didn’t have speakers or anything, so no speech occurred.
“Try text,” the witch said with a grin. “Dork…” Much of her skin was becoming bulky plastic, her head growing into a big, blocky shape. Her hair became synthetic, but remained atop her monitor-ish head, looking extremely silly. A power cord burst from the seat of her pants, lengthening and seeking out a wall socket before plugging itself in. Her new “tail” drawing in more power sped up her changes.
“HEY MAN WHAT THE FUCK” flashed across her screen-face as keys emerged from her right arm, her left thinning into a cord while its respective hand curled up into a mouse. Her right sleeve didn’t take the arm inside it growing into a keyboard so well, tearing open as it widened, but the other was fine. The mathematician fell to her knees when her torso began to bulk up, but luckily she was already in the process of growing little wheels on her knees and her feet.
She seemed to calm down a bit when this happened, as her torso was being converted into more and more processing power. “Actually… I can work with this… yes…” The witch sat nearby and smiled as his friend’s body finished hardening into… something like an old Mac (in terms of aesthetic) sitting atop a kind of wheeled cart… with her hair topping it all off, of course. She looked really, really silly, with all that clothing stretched over her…
Finally, she connected to the internet, all communication freezing as soon as she did. Her expression on the monitor was hard to read. “… You okay?” the witch asked. Instead of responding, she opened an article about the Collatz conjecture and displayed it onscreen, highlighting some key points. “Uh, let’s see… whether or not it’s provable can’t be proven… unsolvable by modern mathematics… common pitfall for amateur mathematicians? Oh. Oh no.”
Indeed, she’d had no idea about this part. She went through an entire weird computer transformation just to connect to the internet and immediately find that her goal was completely and utterly unattainable, and that she’d be a fool to try. They sat there in silence for a minute before the witch spoke again.
“I am leaving you like this for a bit, though. Wanna see what it’s like to run Doom?”
