I dreamed I found a poem from the future
One I will have wrote decades from now
When a new friend asks a simple question:
So. How did you two meet?
“We were far apart when we fell in love.
It was the way of trans women in 20’s,
to find a heart hidden between message lines
and fleeting glances at a video screen.
I found her in a server we both joined by chance.
I wasn’t looking for love:
I was done with the whole notion.
Then she smiled.
My god did she smile.
And I told myself not to fall in love.
There was an ocean between us,
it would have been terribly difficult.
So I told myself not to fall in love,
yet we grew closer, blinking at odd hours
letting me know she was thinking of me,
tapping at my screen to let her know
she was on my mind.
I wasn’t looking for love:
I had no need for such nonsense.
Then she laughed.
On my soul did she laugh.
And I told myself not to fall in love.
There were such boundaries between us
it would have been impossible.
So again I did not fall in love,
yet we grew closer. Messages became long calls,
hours long,
pouring our hearts out for each other.
It was the way of things,
to expose your soul to a virtual stranger.
I wasn’t looking for love:
I was too bitter for it still.
Then she blushed.
By all the stars did she blush.
And I told myself not to fall in love.
And then
I asked.
Why not?
There were such boundaries between us,
but one by one we took them down.
I could have fought it,
had I wanted.
I could have keep my guard raised.
But she did more than blush
and laugh
and smile.
She saw the world in ways I had never dreamed.
She moved my heart in ways I had never dared.
She gave me space to exist and I gave her the same.
We trusted in each other.
My god did we trust.
And I told myself it was safe to fall in love.
We met in a place where we
were not looking for love
Which meant we never could doubt
That we chose each other.”