Scarf the Magic-User

🦹‍♀️ Big ones! Big, complicated ones with lots of rooms for different things! Made of stone! Stone is a nice, foreboding material. Lots of potential for evil vibes there.

🧪 It’s nice if they have a lab, too.

🦹‍♀️ Yes! Thank you, Mad Scientist Neo! A lab for all the evil experimenting and inventing and whatnot is very important! Gosh, isn’t she amazing?

🧪 quietly, but definitely not blushing I-I keep telling you that you can just call me Neo…

🦹‍♀️ Yknow, we really lucked out with the nonsense-castle. Immeasurably big, and frighteningly complicated… So foreboding that its mere existence even has me a little concerned… Seemingly infinite rooms, with more discovered every day… It’s even got a lab!

My mad scientist tells me that it’s probably some piece of what’s called a “head’s space”. I do know what that means but it’s funnier to pretend that I do not.

Thanks so much for the questions, by the way! Stay evil! (Might work on the catchphrase bit, “stay evil” feels a little basic.)

Ahh, yes, questions related to villainy (and by extension, related to me, Val) should be quite common, as the allure of evil draws the attention of curious types such as yourself… Muehehe… For this reason I’ll give this a title. It’ll be a series! A very evil series! Ask a Villainess! It’s me I’m the villainess hi hello

UNDERLINGS! Gotta love em! But what is an underling? I’d get my mad scientist to answer this but I’m already an expert on it and she wants me to stop bothering her so I will explain. Basically an underling is a type of entity who wears a really cool costume and works for a villainous type like me. My mad scientist is kinda one of my underlings! But she keeps saying she’ll “do it later” whenever I ask her to try on the special underling mad scientist outfit I made for her… It’s odd, she gets real blushy and real quiet. Hmm.

So what do underlings do? Well, mostly they look cool (because they dress sorta like me!! But different enough so I’m obviously like the final boss or whatever) and be my friends! Uh, it also entails helping me with stuff, like evil schemes (one time I turned all of the clothing in the nearby town into fursuits for an entire DAY!!) and getting groceries and whatnot. Oh, and helping us map out the nonsense-castle, that’s a big one…

So what am I looking for in an underling? That’s… that’s a good question! I guess I’m looking for beings who are willing to wear funky costumes, not be assholes, and take part in lots and lots of EVIL! Now get over here so we can fit you for an outfit and then hang out >:)

It turns your clothing into the outfit of one of my underlings, bringing you over to the side of EVIL!!

…

… wdym “how does it do the second part?” The outfit— huh? Your brain? No no, it leaves that alone… What?? No, that’d be fucked up! It just changes your clothes! And that’s all it needs to do!

After all, who could resist becoming one of my underlings after seeing how great they look in one of my uniforms? No need to tamper with anyone’s thoughts for that!

My evil, geometry-breaking nonsense-castle will be teeming with new recruits in no time!

Val the villainess has finally come up with a fittingly evil outfit for her underlings-to-be, which means that underling applications are now open! Become an underling today, unless you don’t want to!

Adjustments for different body types can be made as necessary.