These are just the high points I can think of off hand, not an exhaustive list

FF1: having to double dip a dungeon because a big dude won't move slightly without getting him fancy candy.

FF2: Former party member works for evil Emperor, tries to take over when evil Emperor dies, helps party take Emperor down again, probably tries to take over evil empire again (not shown)

FF3: God gives a bad gift to an asshole, asshole makes it everyone else's problem.

FF4: There are maybe 2 outright evil people in the game, and the villains you meet up until the very end are either loyal to the death or outright mind controlled by those people (or the people that are loyal to the death/mind controlled by those people, all the way back). See also: Yu-gi-oh series 1.

FFMQ: "I need training to use this Mega Grenade, how do I use them?" "Just throw it!"

FF5: "Let's seal away this evil that we have no way of dealing with on another world, and attach it to magic crystals that we know that they have been fiddling with for centuries. Furthermore, we (including the guy who is hanging out to keep an eye on things) won't tell anyone that this happened, and if anything goes wrong, it's that planet's fault."

FF6: Let's civilize this feral child (who's doing okay on his own) to help him get along with his estranged, mentally ill, and incredibly abusive dad!

FF7: "Remember that two hours we spent in Kalm where you gave us a bunch of backstory? I know it's not entirely truthful, but I won't say anything about it until you have a massive mental meltdown."

FFT: "I, a child of privilege, know that you can improve your situation despite the circumstances of your birth!"
~also~
"I can't do anything about the many political and social issues that plague people across the continent, but I can kill these demons who are making it worse!"

FF8: "Every time we're alone, I can hear the super popular romantic song my mom wrote about your dad, and I think you should lighten up from being a child soldier and make out with me."

FFIX: Garland: "Let's create life, give it an explicit mortality, and don't teach it right from wrong because our planet sucks and we need a new one!"
Kuja: "It sucks having explicit mortality. Let's create life, give it an explicit mortality, and don't teach it right from wrong because that way I'll definitely live forever and take revenge on the people who created me!"
Black Mages: "It sucks having explicit mortality and not knowing right from wrong. Maybe I'll be able to extend my life by working for Kuja, but isn't it better to live well?"

FFTA: "I don't care if my friends and family are happier in this isekai, I wanna go home!"

FFX: "Ritually sacrificing people via pilgrimage is the best way to deal with the leviathan that ravages our lands and peoples, and we won't stand for anyone trying a different way!"

FFXII: Let's add this extra kid to be the main character. He'll kind of suck - not too badly, but be worse than literally every other character.

FFXIII: For the first approximately 20 hours of the game, Snow spends being super optimistic to a point past naivete to Hope, whose mom his leadership got killed earlier.

FFXIV: Anything before A Realm Reborn.



VampireExpert
@VampireExpert
exerian
@exerian asked:

how to become BDSM?

i was going to ask how to become vampire but autocorrect gave me this and like i can't just ignore that.

Well, I'm not a BDSM expert, but my best guess is that it involves being bitten by a dominatrix.