I'm going through all my youtube subscriptiosn and unsubscribing from a lot of stuff and making sure notifications are on for a lot of other things
and twice now I've passed someone who stopped updating because they just fucking died and it's kinda a gut punch. One was 70. One was 8.
It's also just this awful feeling, looking at these channels that are so 'successful' by the standards of the platform, the things they tell me they did a good job of, and these people have... eight, nine videos. Just walked up onto youtube, said something that a half million people cared about, then walked off to do something else
Success is random and I say it a lot but it's very, very hard to not feel reminded in these ways that whatever randomness it has, I'm not good at capitalising on it.