Miserable Pile Of Words

the muse is sort of back and made me write 2000 words for a thing on Tuesday right up until The Good Stuff, but I somehow fucked up my back and left arm that night in a way that makes it feel like pins and needles, making typing extremely difficult, since my muscle memory is misfiring in the same way my main memory is now, which is Fun¹.

amazing game

or if it can wait until the 'almost ER' is open later
_{I don't want to take away time and resources that could save lives}

They don't do wait music but just ring

"oh yeah nah you should go to the ER now"
so uh, yeah

Just spent 4 days in the hospital being tested for... a whole bunch of things, but they have no idea why my left arm and hand are now active enemy combatants. Since I'm not currently noticeably deteriorating any further, I was allowed to go home, with further testing planned for next month.
If, you know, things don't suddenly deteriorate even more.

So that's great. /s

Anyway, the long and short of it is:
I will be drastically less active online, and all writing is effectively cancelled for... the foreseeable future. However the fuck long this will continue for. Hopefully not years, or even months, but with my luck, this is my new reality.

Sorry.

as it stands now, I feel like I'll be back in the hospital before end of day
now my right hand has started to do the "nice fine control, would be a shame if anything happened to it" bit
so that's great

been sitting in secondary triage in the ER for the last 4 hours as what seems like every pensioner in the city, who all decided to have a bad fall today apparently, gets rolled in past me and cuts in line

6 and a half hours of just fucking sitting here for what will probably take 5 minutes

there are somehow still 5 people in front of me

you guessed it!
there are still 5 people ahead of me in the queue

but what is another hour when you're already 12 hours in

I repeat, intake doctor showed up
this is not a drill

same guy as this weekend, who was all "wait, you're back?"

we did it, team!

me and the old guy that arrived at the ER just before me, nodding at each other like war brothers as we pace the hallway of our triage section while we wait for our transport to Valhalla our respective next steps

guess the neurological department doesn't have beds free

unfortunately this is an RNG heavy run

nowhere near my PB, but this was a marathon run, so I'm okay with that

you're typing something on your phone to a friend, yet another new doctor comes in to hear the whole story, and you forget to switch "voices", so you tell the poor woman "... so I was like 'yeah no fuck this I'm going back to the hospital', you know?"

on two different wards

half the channels on this TV are "unavailable", so I'm stuck with these options:

• shmaltzy romcom channel
• the same 3 badly dubbed documentaries on repeat
• Jamie Oliver All Day
• The Horse Race Betting Channel

things are getting worse
I've very much started losing grip and tracking in my other hand as well now

"I don't know why you're not already hooked up, but we obviously can't wait any longer" is not something you want to hear, but hey, something is finally happening

"well we definitely need to fast track you for your brain and spine MRI today or we need to move you on to another hospital" and other fun things doctors say

who named it "MRI scan" instead of "slow fax to Cybertron"?

well I can scratch a lumbar puncture off "things I never experienced"
would not recommend

two handing my paper cup¹ for stability like a baby and still spilling half of it all over myself, the hospital bed and floor is where we're at.

not a fan.

things are bad, evolving to worse