Starship pilot who swears she’ll hold together (come on, hold together)
This post has content warnings for: mention of death, personhood, identity, indoctrination, self-worth.
What is a writer?
A miserable little pile of words!
Call me MP or Miz
Fiction attempted, with various levels of success.
Yes, I do need help, thank you for noticing.
AO3 Fiction Archive
archiveofourown.org/users/MiserablePileOfWordsDreamwidth Fiction
amiserablepileofwords.dreamwidth.org/Tumblr Mirror
www.tumblr.com/blog/amiserablepileofwordsItch page
amiserablepileofwords.itch.io/You must log in to comment.
in reply to @MiserablePileOfWords's post:
AAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THEM BOTH!!!! Geez, whoever these clone purveyors are, they need their asses handed to them
I really empathize with Berry. Poor girl. It's not easy to break out of thought patterns like that.
Ughhh I love stories like this 😭
Grappling with your own personhood, trying to help your friend break free from the shackles imposed on their mind, ugh it's just so good!!
Oh sweetie, this is so gorgeous. I'm glad I have this with me on the train today.
I was already so curious about Berry's internal language, wondering when things might spill out into a breakdown, not sure if I'd even see it.
Kyra is such a sweetie, and angry little thing that needs someone to ground her it seems. That she definitely gets not pushing Berry too hard is both adorable and heartbreaking. Like, Berry still has to be [mine] before she can be herself.
*blushes* thank you ❤️
And yeah, Kyra is straight up feral.
Hopefully these kids can help each other out!
*touches earpiece* what do you mean, I'm the writer, it's up to me?
We are but trapped on the winds of fate, except perhaps to give a little nudge from time to time
*blushes harder* that's one of the greatest compliments I've ever received I think?
Oh and I'll be going to sleep sitting in Berry's headspace imagining conversations lol. Trust me. (It's where my own stories come from lol)
Oh yeah no I uh...
figured it was better than me apologising?
But I see that I was wrong there.
Anyway, yes, more stories good!
No no no, I mean it's a fantastic thing. I adore it. Finding characters I love (others or my own) and doing like a combination of writing exercise and self-therapy lol. Literally the vast majority of my own dialogue comes from repeatedly grabbing my phone and typing more scenes out till it's 3am. And then I draft that into prose and fill in the gaps.
And like, you have to be such a precision-threaded worm to get in my head and start munching away like that. It's awesome. Like, it means I fucking love it, and that there's so many gorgeous details to mess with in my own head. And always it's cool to see how my projections differ to actual continuations, gets me working to imagine more broadly for my stories.
Anyway, apologies, I will shush before I stick my foot in any more golf holes.
Oh yeah no I love it when people gush, don't stop on my account
And I hope the continuations - if and when they finally fucking drop come the fuck on brain - won't disappoint.
Oh and one little detail my mind is picking up on, Kyra keeps putting Berry in danger.
Like, she evidently does really poorly with considering Berry as a dehumanised object which like good but also a couple times now (if I include the noncanon story) it seems like she's also failing/rejecting to consider that others do.
Even if the jacket delays someone recognising her, it's grounds for instant 'decomissioning,' and if Kyra walks off again for long enough it puts Berry at a ton of risk and likely unable to self-advocate still if someone recognises. And really, the more someone is aware of that rule, the more likely they can spot a BR. Kyra won't always get back in time.
So gosh if Kyra doesn't figure that out, or Berry doesn't say. It's an incredible character flaw, to put Berry's humanity so far forward, and to selfishly shove away the other part of her existence, that Kyra is trying to be a good person but in doing so is endangering who she's trying to help to protect her own feelings (bc of the painful outbursts that happen).
it seems like she's also failing/rejecting to consider that others do
Spoilers, but this is a major point of the first arc
It's an incredible character flaw
Oh yeah. Some people were like "Kyra is perfect, I wish she was my girlfriend" and I'm over here aghast, going no no no no no you do not want that, trust me
(Yes, there are currently 2 arcs planned... loosely)
I will still love her, but I am glad to do so from within Berry's headspace lol.
Also the extra tidbit I was imagining (to counterbalance the horrific, incredible implications of flash-growing compliant young adults) is that if Berry was wanting a hug, at this stage, she'd presumably have to couch it in like tearfully asking Kyra if she would benefit from physical reassurance lol. Because she couldn't ask for herself so literally, but is starting to rule-bend.
weirdly it reminds of red dwarf and teaching kryten to lie lol
Oh yeah.
That would be.. incredible mental gymnastics for Berry, and the most adorable "sneaky" statement ever constructed.
"Would you require me to measure your torso circumference with my arms for your next operations suit?"
(Altho she's getting "better" a lot faster than expected! ... in the stuff you can't read yet because stupid fucking Broken Brain is going 'nah')
it took me 10 years to start writing again, so no shortage of patience <3
and ofc hope this is nice, i always adore when folks comment and like pinpoint small details i was trying to put in.
I love your comments! ❤️
Please keep them coming!
Pinned Tags