What is a writer?
A miserable little pile of words!


Call me MP or Miz


Fiction attempted, with various levels of success.


Yes, I do need help, thank you for noticing.



caffeinatedOtter
@caffeinatedOtter

Kandi gets back to the ship to an obviously tense standoff in the galley, Whisper backed into a corner and the old soldier blocking her in, coiled like violence, in a stance intended to cow. He's red and heaving for breath like he's been screaming, again.

Kandi steps in quietly, and to the side a little, turning her body so she doesn't block the doorway.

"What's going on here?" she says, conversational, and the captain whirls on her, too much of his teeth and the whites of his eyes showing, rocking on the balls of his feet before he spits on the deck between them.

"Not my floor to mop, guy," she says, keeping her shoulders relaxed, and waits; waits; watches him stomp out past her, snarling and wordless.

She counts forty-five seconds after he goes, lightly grips Whisper's bicep, steers her to the cabin they're stowed in.

"He's a time bomb," she says, murmuring low against Whisper's temple. "We are not staying on board; we can be on a bus midway to the nearest city in two hours. Grab your gear."


On the mostly-empty bus, later, Kandi leaning against the window and Whisper slumped in the aisle seat with her hands laced together in her lap, Whisper says, "I fucked that up."

"That," Kandi says, eyes nearly closed, "is a guy with issues."

"He never would have taken us on board in the first place," Whisper says. "I greased the wheels."

Find the place that sticks and what it needs to free it up. The essence of Whisper's job.

"Mhm," Kandi says, as if she's nearly asleep.

"He let us on board because I got on my knees for him," Whisper says.

Some people measure out the world in the currencies they have to spend, and the vagaries of their buying power. Of course Whisper knows, to six decimals, what a mouth can buy.

"It wasn't the only boat in the world," Kandi says tiredly.

"He got the idea we're screwing," Whisper says, very quietly. "I think it got tangled up in his head with the notion of chain of command. That it made you insubordinate."

"Issues," Kandi repeats, and lets her eyes actually close for a second.

Strategic shows of honesty, vulnerability, are also currency.

The slow-dancing round the point they've been doing, touch and countertouch, long looks and sleeping nestled together; also currency.

Kandi's a simple machine, a quick and hot and dirty engine running on loyalty and violence. It doesn't make her stupid. It puts her in stupid places, sometimes, doing stupid things; knowing she's getting fucked. Knowing she's been cheaply bought for the opportunity to arbitrage; genuine loyalty sells dear.

She opens her eyes again, skims a knuckle lightly along the outside of Whisper's thigh.

Genuinely loyalty does sell dear, regardless.

"You should get some sleep," she says.


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in reply to @caffeinatedOtter's post:

Of course Whisper knows, to six decimals, what a mouth can buy.

"You should get some sleep," she says.

I'm feel like I'm seen by this old ghost of myself, lonely and melancholy.

All labour changes the relationship we have with our own body, that though is one of those particularly transformative. Bitter and raw transactionality that threatens to swallow you.

And it can be hard to find yourself after that, to recognise yourself. I'm glad at least Whisper can find Kandi, who listens quietly and patiently, letting a presumably old and deep wound breathe.

It's not a thing you bind quickly, there is a very particular, delicate scar to it.

There's something beautifully mundane to it. All the dark sci-fi future kind of melts away. An old intercity bus, tucked away in this cheap, cosy corner of it. Mulling over the same shit we have to do now. That sense of being trapped in this part of society, the little, precious comforts of it.

And I think, almost, it feels like Kandi doesn't quite get it initially, but takes that breath and tries to reassure in way focused on Whispers body. Something that brings her back in connection with it.

Anyway, let me shush and sleep lol. Writing to do tomorrow.

Ah fuck. And he was Kandi's contact. Fuuuck. That contextualises things even more, like, I can only imagine how much it's not just the guilt here we see, but how that was likely a motivator in the first place for Whisper. To make sure things work, bc of all Kandi's done.