"Hey," Bernadette says. "Um. What are you doing?" and the other demon, who's trying to break open the back door of the angelic Ohio safehouse with a random piece of wood, freezes.
"I forgot my keys!" she blurts, yanking her hoodie down more firmly over her horns, one of which immediately pokes through the fabric.
"Front door's open," Bernadette says.
"Yeah, but they've got a cop on the front," the demon says darkly, then seems to slowly reconsider. "I mean. Uh—" and looks over at Bernie properly for the first time. "Shit," she hisses, and grabs Bernie's arm. "This place is crawling with angels, let's split."
"Hang on," Bernie says, blinking, as she's towed along. "Hang on. What were you even doing—"
"My cousin's a Starbucks manager," the demon hisses. "She said they've been keeping one of ours prisoner in there for, like, months."
"Prisoner?"
"Yeah, like, they make her do their coffee run in the mornings."
"...You and your cousin are both succubi, right," Bernie sighs.
"Yeah." The other demon halts, peers suspiciously around the corner of the building. "How'd you know?"
"Lucky guess." She grabs the succubus by the shoulder and pulls her back. "Careful, they have a Special Angel posted at the gym across the street, too."
"Shit!" the succubus shudders. "Oh man, this is bad."
"What is?"
"Well my cousin said they've had her here since everything went screwy with our old management," the succubus says. "Load of ours went missing. Furnace, you know? But what if they didn't. Fuck coincidences, am I right?"
This, Bernadette reflects, is bad.
She tightens her grip on the other demon's shoulder and firms her voice. "Listen to me," she says. "You're gonna drop this, you're gonna mind your own business, and you're gonna tell your cousin to mind hers. For the sake of your health, understand?"
The succubus looks at her with big round eyes.
"You think a departmental manager gets rubbed out without interest from Infernal Affairs?" Bernie adds, in as much of a menacing whisper as she can manage.
"You're Infernal Affairs?" the succubus squeaks.
"I never said that." Bernie narrows her eyes to ember-burning slits. "Do you have some particular reason to think that, Miss? I'd be careful about saying things. I might have to ask you some questions."
"Nope!" The other demon swallows hard. "I don't know anything! I never heard anything or saw anything or — came here at all?"
"Smart of you," Bernie says, lets go, and smoothes her shoulder with a click of her tongue.
"But why are Infernal Afairs watching one of ours being held by angels in Ohio—"
"Sweetheart, go back to being smart," Bernie advises. "You think this stopped with Malharaxxus? With Upstairs involved? I mean—" she looks over her shoulder theatrically. "Look who's in charge of the Department now."
Management probably transferred one of the ancient paperwork demons from Malicious Legislation, she figures.
"Oh shit," the succubus breathes, eyes wide.
"You don't come back here," Bernie warns. "You keep your head down and your mouth shut, understand? We're playing the long game, and it's gonna get real ugly in the endzone. You prefer it on the outside of the Furnace."
"Sure! Okay, uh — ma'am!" The succubus licks her lips. "I guess I'll—"
"You do that," Bernie says, nods with a tight little management smile, and watches the succubus unsummon herself in a burst of sulphurous ash.
"Oh, man," Bernie says to herself, and wanders around the front.
"Hey," she says, on her way in past SA Juleia on the front desk. "Do you guys — like, do you get updates on what's going on Downstairs? Like. Do you know who's in charge of Lust these days?"
"Some nobody called...Jamdudley?" Juleia says, leafing through a magazine. "Something like."
"Jamdaggu?"
"Could be. Any reason?"
Bernie beams at her upticked eyebrow. "Just bored," she says cheerily, and goes upstairs.
That's fine, then; they've been taking Jamdaggu to the cleaners every poker night for years. Nobody's ever going to seriously suspect him of anything.
