No human in their right mind would come to Zilla Island, let alone build some kind of shadowy crystal fortress there and spend all day yelling to themself and screeching with maniacal laughter.
"I'm not a racist," Elderzilla says earnestly to Mechazilla, "but do you really feel safe with someone like that living on your isolated radioactive island?"
"ABORT, RETRY, FAIL," says Mechazilla, who's more senile than Elderzilla. Everyone is very polite about it. (Elderzilla may not, in fact, notice.)
"We could always call someone," says Megazilla, and their clutchmate Ultrazilla sneers.
"Someone," they mock. "You just want an excuse to booty call Gothra."
"Oh, no," their clutch-brooder Electrozilla groans. "Not Gothra. Mega, I like that kid, I really do, eyeliner and all; but they're a terrible houseguest. Last time they visited, they wouldn't take the hint to go home again until Cosmodan the Space-Monster flooded half the island six months later, and I swear we had twice as many indigenous bird species before they were here."
"Gothra might not have eaten them!" Megazilla says furiously. "You don't know that! It could have been Cosmodan washing all their nests away, did you ever think of that!"
"Besides," Ultrazilla says, "if the crystal fortress's Monster Shield keeps us out, what's Gothra going to do?"
"Well I don't hear any ideas from you!" Megazilla says.
"I sent an email," Ultrazilla says loftily.
From: ultrazilla@radioactive-island.cool
To: enquiries@miraclejaccomarchiadusbelles.net
dear miracle jaccomarchiadus belles, i am a genuine seventy-year-old adolescent human child and your biggest fan. i am writing to you for help because a sinister shadowy crystal castle has suddenly appeared on my isolated radioactive island, and all my friends are very worried about it and i might fail a normal human academic subject in school because of the anxiety and be eaten by my clutchmates for it, as is standard. please can you come and address the 24/7 evil cackling laughter as this seems like a magical girl problem and i cannot call the cops because ACAB.
yours sincerely
jane ultrazillastein
"What," says Megazilla incredulously.
