Why did I even bother bolstering up my VR setup with extra apps and trackers if I don’t have anybody to fucking hang out with, ever.
Did I think that something was magically going to change? Did I expect some kind of grace and empathy to suddenly grip the pack of animals that have made me into an outcast, a freak among freaks, into someone others don’t even want to reference being around?
I hate this. I hate the way my life has turned out. I bumble my way through horrible, shitty public instances in VRC in some weak attempt to socialize and find new friends but the state of publics is fetid; horrible and jarring and depressing rooms full of children yelling and writing hard-r N words and launching animations meant to melt CPUs for giggles.
I am an extraordinarily social creature and I find myself at my best and happiest when I have others I can share experiences with, talk and laugh and playfully bicker with. I do my best to take things one day at a time and do what I have to do to make it through. I AM NOT A BAD FUCKING PERSON. I keep being treated like one and I’m just
giving up